Hash Trail 783 started at the smoke-filled Jury Room on Ocean St. Home to psychobaby, smoking locals and Santa Cruz’s ladies of the night. It was a pretty good show, lots of backsliders (who I’ll get to later) and Sharticle Physics even brought a virgin. The pack discussed marks they had seen earlier in the week, guessing at what it could mean once we hit trail. Was there a pre-lay? Is there another hash in town?

TIMMY!!! decided it was time to leave and after telling us a bunch of made up lies, he took off. Princess took our virigin out for some chalk talk and we all got another round inside, we knew we were going to be needing it for the trail ahead of us.

Before long, the pack took off and found our first check. As we were checking, dBASED and Occasional Rapist came from the other direction saying they were following an arrow. The trail was already starting to show it’s confusing face.

After a back check we were taken across Ocean and along the levee. to yet another confusing check. TIMMY!!! had hashers running in all directions, even the homeless started to help us (I think they just wanted us off their turf). Out of all people, dBASED found trail after crossing over Front then turning onto Pacific towards the ocean.

Trail then started to wind up onto 3rd, I heard there was a YBF down at the Wharf but the only thing the pack saw was a bunch of cops. We winded back down onto the other side of the levee, crossing on Riverside. This is where trail started to get good. Earlier in the week, I was traveling this exact section of the levee and ran into a true trail arrow. I searched for this arrow on trail but couldn’t seem to find it. Dog Breath claims he saw it and chalked it out. Was this part of a pre-lay TIMMY!!! started and then forgot about? On on to more. Trail took us up to the bottom of Oceanview Park onto Cayuga. All of a sudden the markings were being written with green chalk, parts of trail were marked recycled. dBASED found a YBF TIMMY!!! says he didn’t lay (or doesn’t remember). Could there be another hash in town?

We all assumed by now that beer check would like be at Chez Puff, or at least everyone except Puff himself. Who wouldn’t want to come home to a pack of hashers?

To go with the theme of lies, forgetfullness and general debauchery, we learned that trail was more and A to B than A to A’ and you were on your own getting back to A. Pack pack stumbled and lolly-gagged their to the medical offices on Dakota from Chez Puff’s place in Seabright.

Dung Fu was RA for the evening and first brought up a few hashers who decided to skip trail and just hang at the bar, fake a cold, or maybe an injury.. wbatever their made up excuse was, we didn’t believe it and each took their down-down from the 32oz bottles of miller light was it? being passed around and between each other.

We knew it wouldn’t be long until we started trying to figure out what happened with the markings on trail. First up to share his theory was Accuprick. He suggests that TIMMY!!! pre-laid trail on Monday, forgot about it, pre-laid on Tuesday, forgot about it, then went out Thursday night and laid a completely different trail. Poor TIMMY!!! in his old age can’t quite remember what he does day to day. I hear he shows up for the hash every night.

dBASED thinks there is another hash in town. Maybe that’s because he ran the YBF that Dung Fu added to the trail for him. Earlier in the week, he stumbled across a check with Fap Jack, Pink Cherry Liquor and Electric Labia Land. But really folks, could dBASED be onto something? I’m sure we will know what’s going on soon.

Next, we had to get our backsliders up there; Just Evan, Moose Turd Pie, Diddler On The Roofie and Just Nate. I didn’t hear one good excuse worth repeating here.

Moving onto more entertaining things, Virgin April was brought up. She was very forthcoming about the time she spends with Sharticle Physics and spared us no details, which will literally burn in our memories forever. Vrigin April gave us a two-for-one with both a song and a flash.

As the neighbors started to creep in to see what all the commotion was about, Just Nate was brought up for his naming, he graced us all with an unsolicited flash just to make sure we weren’t distracted by the strangers visit. He was asked some probing questions, from one of which we learned about his Uncle’s Farm somewhere in the mid-west where there is a bull named after Just Nate, As Just Nate was taken away, it didn’t take the pack long to come up with some ideas. Ball Juice was figuratively thrown around a little as was Gurley Hurley for his frequent wearings of Hurley gear (every hash), but we soon settled on Insem-moo-nator.

Dog Breath was being called up for who knows what, likely being a dog… when the cops rolled in. The pack dispersed and SCPD kindly asked us to just move the party along somewhere else as we were scaring the security guards. I might be scared of us too. Some of the pack re-convened at the Jury Room, others went on their way… but we all went in peace.