Banana’s Anthrax Bash!
This week, the hash started from the Crape Place. Our Hare was none other than hash founder, the infamous Banana Basher. He may be a semi-retired hasher, but can still lay a shitty trail with the best of them. It was a smaller pack than usual since several hash “regulars” had already left for Betty Ford. Many of which are still hung over days later. I’m sure we’ll see photographic evidence of trail # 790 as soon as Puff the Magic Drag Queen gets around to posting them. Hope he wasn’t one of the hashers who got heat stroke in Palm Springs in the 100 degree weather. Mother’s Little Felcher showed up with Just Brook in a stroller. My Little Bony, New Kids on my Cock and Waxi Pad showed up too.
My GPS measured trail at 2.99 miles. It started by going down Soquel, then across the street up Morrissey. We did a loop around that area and came back to Soquel, went across Walgreens parking lot and down to Arena Gulch. There were a bunch of cows grazing down there so Hugh Heifer got to visit with some of her bovine cousins! Trail continued across the new bridge to Broadway. There was a check on the corner of Broadway and Fredrick Streets. Some hashers thought trail went left down Fredrick Street, so I prematurely kicked the check. They were wrong. Trail went actually right on Fredrick Street. I tried to fix it, but later we found out that dBASED never found beer check because her got lost. Serves him right, don’t you think? Beer check was at the Star of the Sea Park. Banana saw dBASED running around lost and just laughed. Him. Him. Fuck Him…
Religion was back at Puff’s abode. Dung Fu Grip was RA, and Occasional Rapist was Beer Fairy. Broke Bench Mountain got called out for wearing new shoes and christened them with shitty beer. Backsliders Banana Basher, Stub Rub, Summer’s Yeast, My Little Bony and Mother’s Little Felcher were punished with a down down. Dung Fu Grip was called out for arriving late to the hash and running a 6:30 pace to catch the pack. That bastard is fast! He made it to beer check right after the FRB’s. dBASED drank for not making it to beer check. He blamed me for fucking him over by marking the check in the wrong direction. There were many hashers behind him and they figured it out an didn’t get lost. Fingernips drank for going out for dinner instead of doing trail. Eyeful Hands from Can’d Hash showed up at religion because he was going to get a ride to Betty Ford. Banana put out a challenge to all hashers attending Betty Ford. He offered to buy a case of beer for any Surf City Hasher who passes out in the parking lot (with photographic evidence as proof). We’ll see if anyone won that challenge! And the Hares…………………..
And now for the aftermath: A couple days after the hash, Banana Basher shared a post written in a Santa Cruz neighborhood email group. Apparently a paranoid resident was upset about the “white powder” in the area and thinks we’re a bunch of sick people poisoning dogs with organophosphate. They told people to call 911 if they see any more white powder around . Luckily no cops showed up at Puff’s and there was no anthrax hazmat scare. Banana posted a reply to try to explain what it was. It’s only flour man!
Speaking of Hares, we haven’t heard from this week’s Hares. I didn’t see a trail announcement for this week. Maybe it’s an April Fool’s joke and they want to keep us guessing. More likely the Hares are still hung over from Betty Ford. Word on the street says we will have a trail and Cock Throbbin’ and Dung Fu Grip will announce something soon.
On On,
Shallow Hole