Twisted Fister, The Human Pube and Thmp-Thmp brought the pack to Malone’s in Scotts Valley this week.  Hashers filled up the bar on this chilly night.  It seems like we skipped fall and went straight to winter.  Burrr!  It took forever to get a drink at the bar.  Groucho Cocks brought Virgin Jessie with him.  He may be a virgin hasher, but he knows how to drink.  The dude had multiple shots before he even left the bar.  Way to prelube!  Shady Curtains made the trek from Monterey.   Putin denied his visa so he couldn’t go to Russia.  So might as well go hashing in Surf City.  Hippies are more fun to hang out with than communists any day.  Any halfmind knows that!  Could you imagine drinking in a bar with Putin?  If you don’t laugh at his knock knock joke, he would knock you off.

The trail was a real ballbuster at 2.32 miles according to my GPS.  It got off to a great start with a long, confusing back check on Scotts Valley Drive.   Flour was finally spotted on Disc Drive and led us down to the creek.  Thanks to Twisted Fister, we have now explored every part of the Carbonera Creek that parallels Scotts Valley Drive.  Because of the drought it’s more like a ditch with big rocks, picker bushes and PO.   Trust me.  It’s not exactly on the list of top 10 tourist attractions in Santa Cruz County.  Luckily the creek portion of trail wasn’t as endless as last time.   We climbed out of the nasty creek and went into another shiggy section with a liquor check that led out to Oak Creek Boulevard.  At least we were at the top of the fucking hill.  We followed trail down the hill to a check at the intersection of Glen Canyon Road.  The FRB’s all went right searching for trail.  Shady Curtains found flour in a parking lot that led to another shiggy section.  It was difficult to see the flour through the field in the dark.  I knew where the trail was, so just kept trudging on until I found it.  The little trail dumped us off on Scotts Valley Drive.  There was a check.  dBASED went across the street and found a false.  Dung Fu went right on Scotts Valley Drive and found trail.  It went across the street to the alley that leads to the middle school.  We went through the school parking lot to Bean Creek Road then found beer check in Hidden Oaks complex in The Human Pube’s garage.

Religion was in back of the Nob Hill shopping center.  By that time, it was pretty fucking cold out!  Accuprick was RA and Tits and Game was Beer Fairy.  Virgin Jessie, Pink Cherry Licker and Fap Jack drank for missing the liquor check.  Groucho Cocks, Shady Curtains, Transcuntandanal, Summers Yeast and Stub Rub drank for being Backsliders.  Deadliest Snatch and Groucho Cocks drank for being whiners.  Fap Jack celebrated his 100^th hash.  Get a life!  dBASED was punished as a racist for running 10 miles before the hash.  Ho to Housewife and Yours Truly were also called out.  However, we only ran 5 miles before the hash.  Virgin Jessie showed his butt.  Wicked Retahted was bragging about his new shoes.  The hash made sure to christen them by tea bagging beer through Groucho’s  dirty sock and making him drink it from his shoe.  Lear your lesson halfminds!  Never wear new shoes to the hash!  Steamy Baanorrhea accused the FRB’s of not marking a check on Scotts Valley Drive, but the accusation proved to be false.  I did run past there the next day, and it was marked.  So there Bhhhhaaaa to you!   TIMMY!!! drank for his bad taste in liquor.  He liked the nasty shit the Hares put out for liquor check.  Summer’s Yeast outed her friend the Fifth Hole for having hemorrhoids.  Puff puffed and got stoned.  Twisted Fister got a lovely rendition of Happy Birthday fuck You!  And last but not least, the Hares……………………….  

See everyone at AGM!  You can thank your lucky stars, because Ho to Housewife and I will continue our reign as hash scribes for next year.   No one wanted to run against us, so you’re stuck with us.  We will complete our threesome with Pussy Wood!  Thanks Pussy Wood for stepping up!  So in effort to make next years hash trash worth reading, keep doing stupid things on trail so we have good material to work with.  It takes a lot more effort to have to make shit up.

On On,

Shallow Hole