This past Thursday’s trail brought the pack out to The Over the Hill Gang Saloon. I had never been here, never really had a draw for me. I arrived alongside Shallow Hole and as we were walking through their swinging doors in the front several hashers were coming outside. I said “Oh, are we late?”, I assumed they were going to circle up. Turns out they were going outside because they couldn’t handle the cigarette smoke inside. This bar never left 1850. Smoke filled room, roulette table off to the side and what appeared to be an empty gun rack. Booze, gambling and guns.. seems reasonable.

Our hares for the evening were dBased and Virgin Hare Courtesy Flush, who decided he should dress as Abe Linclon. Perhaps he was trying to dress as a man of the times so that he would fit in with the bar décor. I will tell you that by the end of trail I did wanted to put a bullet in his head….

Trail started out heading towards 41st on Portola but quickly jerked us behind the shopping center where Castaway’s is. Apparently trail went back in the neighborhoods where we would have had to jump a fence (had trail been clearly marked). Unfortunately, most of the pack completely missed this section and just played chicken with the cars in the parking lot and crossing back onto Portola before hitting a (what seemed) very early Liquor Check behind Frenchy’s: Santa Cruz’s finest adult store. The Liquor also turned out to be nasty ass bum wine.

We took 41st down to East Cliff where we went straight for a very long time before having to risk our lives jumping rocks and walkways with waves pounding into the rocks 5 feet away from us and of course it was pitch dark. We got pretty turned around on E Cliff in the Moran Lake area all the while dodging cars in the fog….cause there was no sidewalk….. We took 25th and 26th back up to Portola then down 30th, where we had to run through a false, then took the butterfly, I mean shitty mud walk down to the beach where we were greeted with a warm fire, beer and smores.

Religion was held at Wicked’s house, who always supplies lots of chairs for our hasher asses and a great fire to keep us warm. He also played David Bowie all night, in tribute to the man. Accuprick was our religious advisor for the evening and TransCuntnanal was our beer fairy. First order was to punish those who skipped trail and just showed up for the end, Wicked and Bareback Unicrack drank for their sin. We celebrated Just Foot Pussy’s 50th Surf City hash, get a life dude. Hangs Loose doesn’t learn and was given a down down for wearing a Boston Marathon jacket to the hash, the most racist of all races!

There was a large group of hashers who received their happi coats and were given a down down to help break it in. We also had a virgin, Virgin Tim, who CumFartZone made cum. Virgin Tim wasted no time and gave us a flash and a little jiggle at the same time.

On On On was pack’s will, my ass went home.

Ho to Housewife