New Kids On My Cock and Fap Jack lured the pack to Callahan’s this week with promises of shitty 3+ mile Turkey, 6+ mile Eagle trails and a keg.   They got the shitty trail right.  Trail started out the back door of the bar, down May Street.  The first check was a particularly tricky one on the corner of Hubbard and Market.  The FRB’s were treated to running up the big hill on Berkeley Way to find a false trail.  Then to another false trail along the Branciforte Creek trail.  I started out running with my BFF (big furry friend) Poon Doggie, but was soon rejected.  When he saw his Daddy on trail, he stopped in the middle of the path and told me in dog language that he preferred to go with him.  I think I need to start bringing him treats.  True trail went straight on Market, to Curtis, around that neighborhood, through a little dirt trail in back of an apartment complex.  There was a LC that was written upside down, so it took a few half minds to figure out what it was.  We got a bottle of fireball.  Yay!  Trail continued through a new housing development of cookie cutter homes 5 feet away from each other, back out to Market Street towards Branciforte Drive.  The Eagles headed up the big dirt hill into Delaveaga Park.  I was with dBASED at this point.  The FRB’s, Dung Fu Grip, Fucked Over Fest and Achy Breaky Snatch were up ahead of us.   After we got to the top of the hill, the trail cut off to the right on a single track trail.  There was another liquor check, but we couldn’t find it.  There was poison oak and picker bushes everywhere so we didn’t search that hard.   I’m sure it wasn’t worth it anyway.  We followed trail up through the golf course, down Upper Park Road, and left on Delaveaga Park Drive.  At the end of the road, we ran into one of the Hares.  New Kids made it clear that he was done with trail and we didn’t snare him.  He was out there at the end of the road laying a back check.  So we played the back check game, turned around and found trail again on Elk Street.  Beer Check was a Pinky and Fap’s place on Rooney Street.  I got only 3.44 miles, but Dung Fu also ran Eagle and got > 6 miles.  Somehow we missed part of trail.

Religion was in the back room at Callahan’s and was pretty much a shit show. The keg didn’t last very long, but lack of alcohol  didn’t keep hashers from getting loud and obnoxious.  There was a futon, so Pinky, Achy Breaky Snatch and I got to put our feet up, relax and enjoy the drunken escapade.  I tried NOT to think about what cooties were on the futon or what nastiness has gone on there in the past.  I took a shower as soon as I got home.  Dung Fu grip and Accuprick were Co-RA’s for the evening.  Just Emily, Just Shay and Just Mars sang “the pants song”.  Not sure if they made it up or if it was an actual song.  There was a long an boisterous version of Alouette with Cumfart Zone acting out the parts.  Virgin Clarity bailed so Just Emily did her stunt down down.  Steamy Baanorrhea and New Kids drank for blood on trail.  The local flower lady came in the bar and interrupted Religion.  She wasn’t going away, so the festivities stopped while a few hashers bought flowers from her.  There was a long version of Chicago.  Bareback Unicrack drank for not doing trail, and Courtesy Flush drank for arriving late and trying to find trail on his bike.  And the Hares…………..

On On,

Shallow Hole