Ho to Housewife and Occasional Rapist’s Beerthday Aloha Hash

It’s Gemini season, and all the coolest hashers are celebrating birthdays! Ho to Housewife and Occasional Rapist brought the pack back to Pleasure Point to the Corner Pocket for a Hawaiian themed hash.  Personally I’ve never been in that bar before.  There was the smell of cigarettes, but nothing shadier than the other dive bars in Santa Cruz.  The news was reporting some kind of shooting and police activity in the area, but luckily we did not see anything of the sort.

I got 4.69 miles on the Eagle trail. We went left on Portola, right on 24^th with a little zig zagging to 17 th Avenue.  Not sure where the Eagle trail started, but dBASED had plenty of time to write “Pre Lay” next to almost every mark.  There are no rules in the hash, remember?  dBASED is one of the main reasons that Hares pre-lay anyway.  He’s the only hasher who purposely goes out on trail with the intention of catching the Hares.  I guess if you hash for that many years in the same area it gets pretty boring and you need to find ways to amuse yourself.   Trail went through Shoreline Middle School and Simkins Swim Center parking lots to the little dirt trails.  There was a crappy section of railroad tracks complete with broken glass and a bum.  Before exiting the tracks onto 7^th Avenue, there was a big pile of white stuff that resembled flour. It looked like the Pillsbury Dough Boy got murdered there.  There was a loop around the harbor and Cock Throbbin and I got to listen to a little bit of music from the Crows Nest Beach Party.  Trail along the ocean, along East Cliff Drive.  That hill is one of my least favorite spots along the Wharf to Wharf r*ce course.  There was a little zig zagging around to Sunny Cove beach.  Fap Jack was guarding the liquor check, yummy Pina Coladas on the steps down to the beach.  We crossed the beach and went up to the road again.  We ended up back on East Cliff and through some Catholic silent retreat convent run by nuns.  And they say Nuns have to take an oath of poverty!  I wouldn’t mind living in an ocean front convent.  I don’t think I would like the silent part though.  Beer check was on 20^th at the end of the road.  Someone saw Puff almost running by and directed him to beer check.  My guess is the DFL drank the rest of the liquor check and then stumbled the rest of the way.

Religion was at Wicked Retahted’s house. The pack was greeted with a bonfire and Island music.  The Hares cooked up a big Hawaiian feast and it was awesome!  Accuprick was RA and Just Shay was beer Fairy.  My Little Bony drank for not remembering a song (he did the Wanker trail).  Project Cumway and Just Foot Pussy drank for being backsliders.  Wicked was serenaded with the retard song.  A bunch of wankers (Wicked, Just Walter, Fingernips, Cumfart Zone, My Little Bony, Rod Lover and Just Shay, etc) drank for not making the liquor check.   Puff drank for almost missing beer check.  Rod Lover celebrated his 150^th and Pink Cherry Licker celebrated her 175^th Surf city hash!  Get a life!  There was a naming!  It was Just Emily’s 5th hash.  There was plenty of material to work with.  It was a close call between “Taco Tramp” and “Shut the Fuck Up!”.  Taco Tramp won out.  She thinks Taco Bell is “sex food”.  Welcome to the hash!  Virgin Dee told a lame joke.  Taco Tramp made her cum.  And last but not least, the Birthday Hares………..

Happy Birthday, Fuck You!

On On,

Shallow Hole