I love how when the hares ( Occasional and Wicked) say it will be an “easy peesy” trail as they try to lull us into a false sense of security. In the past these “easy peesy” trails have been nothing short of arduous. However, this time we were pleasantly surprised.
Wankers
In fact it was so easy most folks didn’t even notice they were on a trail. These lame hashers were simply sauntering along, not a care in the world, not huffing and puffing, not even breathing hard……just taking pictures of banana trees, seagulls, selfies and pink dogs.
Inspecting it for hobo piss
A few happy go lucky fools zipped right past the most primo viewing spot in all of pleasure point. People come from all over the world to gaze out upon the Monterey Bay, marveling at the surfers, seals, sea otters and the magnificent view. But no…..this recalcitrant sub pack just blew through the beer check like they were blowing a stop sign, or their drunk Tinder date. Guess they missed the rest of us lugs guzzling beer and trying to keep our hats on our heads.
Wankers
Speaking of hats…..
Poor Fap Jack, looked so dapper at Castaways Bar in his fedora. But a great tragedy occurred along the trail. His chapeau was taken by the wind, a bitter mistress, and sent out to sea never to be seen again. Luckily he can buy another one at the dollar store next week when the welfare check clears.
Our amazing scribe
As the pack made their way back to Wicked’s to start Religion, our other hare, Occasional, had to race back for a near empty bottle of Fireball. Can’t let a few precious drops go to waste, lamenting that it wasn’t properly stored out of sight and it wasn’t brought back by the last person who imbibed.
Even More wankers
Speaking of Religion, it was quite a lively affair.
Much singing by most…..although for once in her lifetime, CumFartZone, couldn’t open her mouth……to sing the required song. Major brain fart or something stuck in her throat?!!
How Much Dick Do You Need also had trouble reciting a hash song….must be something in the water or in the beer.
So we taught her….”this is your down down song, it isn’t very long…” blah blah blah….She won’t remember it. Why even bother. She will need cliff notes.
But that couldn’t top the call and response song we had to recite…some African diddy, thanks to our resident Olympian bicyclist, also known as MacGayver.
Puff ruining a perfectly good photo of a sunset
It went sort of like this “a mosa mosa mosa, Oh a LAY LAY…..a bella bella dung gay, a mosa mosa mosa…you get the hang of it now don’t you??!! It was quite a catchy tune if you like that kind of thing.
“When does this get good?”Thump Thump asked in his familiar dead pan voice. I was wondering the same thing while waiting for the Zulus to dance around the fire pit.
Perhaps MacGaver confused his version with the FIFA song. We are hashers, not groupies, not soccer players.
Geeze, next are we going to have auditions for The Voice?
Moving on…….lots of down downs for
various infractions.
Drink it down down….
Some intense discussion regarding the mileage…..3 or 3.6 miles…..who cares? Apparently Princess was the authority on trail mileage. Thank god someone other than dBased keeps track of such things.
Some BS about the beer check beer….who serves Rolling Rock in Cali, etc.
Accuprick gave Jizz and his gang – those folks who got lost in the dark last week – shit about missing beer check
(see above), mentioning lemmings and Stockholm Syndrome.
Broke Bench was accused of being loud and obnoxious…can you imagine that?
Timmy whined about pussy……go figure.
Occasional gave unsolicited advice to the “new hashers” regarding keeping things on the “DL”….down low for those not in the know.
Lots of real name calling which calls for real down downs and a tiny butthole song.
MacGaver made accusations to Real Boring Bitch for constantly using his muggle name.
Maybe if those boys had a really nice pretty necklace they would be more inclined to use their scared hash name.
Thanks to our hares, Occasional and Wicked. Thanks for the good eats, warm fire and shitty songs.
