All posts by pink cherry licker

Hash #738

April 24, 2014SCH3 Trash, Uncategorizedpink cherry licker

Hash #738

This week we started of at Tacos Moreno in Crapitola. There was a special on pitchers, $10 and that includes chips and salsa, if you’re willing to wait half an hour to get a glass. We had a few visitors from the south, Scalded Squirrel and Bromancing the Mangina. The got to enjoy another beautiful spring evening here in Surf City.
The trail started of with a check that took us over to the mall, where we searched in vain, finding only dead ends and old shopping carts. Finally someone dodged traffic back across Capitola Road to find trial going that way. Did it make sense? Not really, but we found it. From there trail wound around the neighborhood. There were a bunch of “Amanda Jackson-Miller for school board” signs on people’s lawns. Fuckedoverfest dubbed her “Amanda Action Jackson). (But on a serious note please vote for her if you live in the Soquel School district. She likes schools and kids and learning and she’d running against a crazy-tea-party-nut-bag who doesn’t believe in public education and pushes her dog around the neighborhood in a stroller).
From there we headed down into Capitola Village. There was a false down at the end of the pier and even though they knew there was nowhere that trail could go, Dog Breath urged Twisted Fister to keep going down to the end. Maybe there was a liquor check. Maybe they were supposed to jump off the end and swim. Nope. It was a false. The liquor check turned out to be on the stairs going up from the beach. It was Malibu rum. Mmmmmm….tastes like sin screen and hangover.
We went up the stairs, across the railroad tracks, and into the jewel box for a bit, before ending up at beer check. As I strolled up with the rest of the DFLs (and found that Fap Jack had squirreled me away a Mike’s, yay) everyone kept asking, “Where’s Acuprick?” We hadn’t seen him since the beginning of trail. Wicked Retahted was missing too, but that was no surprise. I said that Accu was probably hanging out with his BFF, but others were skeptical until we arrived at beer check and there they were. All of Surf City should know by now that Accuprick and Wicked Rethated are thick as thieves. Accu’s story goes that he wanted to give Wicked a chance to be a leader and read the marks. That went about as well as you’d think it might and they wandered around lost for a bit before heading over to beer check.
Religion was held at the house of a friend of Occasional Rapist. Thmp Thmp passed out our new happicoats! They are awesome. We had two analversaries, Cumcerto at 50 and Thmp Thmp at 125. We had a naming, and Just Janna will forever be known as Hooker on Kronix, Bitch. dBASED totally fucked it up in the Hash Count, but it’s still a very cool name. He left out the most important part, the comma! We decided early in the naming, that whatever the name it would be followed by, bitch. Dung Fu Grip decided to reward our host with a song “Her, her. Thank her,” and DogBreath rewarded him with a full beer dumped over the head. Then Dung Fu shivered. And the Hares! dBASED and Occasional Rapist were brought up for their shitty trail.
On, on, on was back at Taco’s Morenos.

On on,
PCL

Hash #735 The Bridges of Santa Cruz County

April 3, 2014SCH3 Trash, Uncategorizedpink cherry licker

Last week we met at the end of some road in Scott’s Valley. We jammed out to Electric Labia Land’s mini speaker and did our best to drain the trough before the trail began. Some folks we hadn’t seen in awhile showed up, Cum Lord, Slownad, The Human Pube, Shiny Snail Trail (with her mom, Virgin Carolyn), Achy Breaky Snatch, Fucked -Overfest, and three visitors who were taking a class in Monterey, Virgin Maxine, Virgin Chris, and Cock Chaser (known to his virgins as Cock Follower).
We headed down a dirt path, into the woods. After coming back from a false, we climbed up a horrible muddy hill before discovering that trail actually went down an easy little road. That was the end of the trail being easy as we headed up and down, up and down, on a trail that wound around through the woods. We crossed a creek several times, avoided poison oak, and tried not to fall in the mud.
We passed many points of interest, marked by numbers. Unfortunately, our hares, D’BASED and Occasional Rapist, failed to hand out the trail guide. I did some research and here are some of the things you could have seen. 19- Chinese Redwood: There are three species of redwood tree. This is a dawn redwood, indigenous to China. 18 -The Lover’s Trees: If you look up at these two tree they form the shape of a heart. 17: This tree was burnt in a fire in the 70’s. You can see how the middle of the tree has been consumed by fire, and the bark still survives. 16-Poison Oak Glen: Why not have a frolic? 15-Look carefully and you can see symbols carved into this tree by hobos in the 1930’s. Most of them were driven out of these parts after the Great Hobo Uprising of 1941. 14- Harry Love’s Grove: This grove was a favorite spot of Captain Harry Love, head of the first law enforcement agency in California and name sake of Love Creek. He kept a man’s head in a jar on his desk. 13- See that tree? No you don’t, because it has a cloak of invisibility. 12 – It’s that plant from Little Shop of Horrors, feed him, Seymour! 11- This tree is very tall. 10- This tree is very tall, but not quite as tall as number 11. 9 – General Hooker’s Tree: Civil War soldiers used to pick up prostitutes at this tree. Not during the war, because that wasn’t fought here, but later probably. 8- Stargate: Pretty self explanatory, it’s a portal to ancient Egypt or something. 7- Tanbark Oak: The Ohlone Indians ate the acorns from this tree. But don’t try them without cooking them first or they are poison! Aren’t you glad you have a pamphlet to tell you what is poisonous? It would be irresponsible to sent people out into the woods without this pamphlet. 6 – This is a good place to hide in the event of some sort of zombie plague. 5- Haunted Campsite. 4 – There is no 4. 3 – This tree was saved from loggers by some fairies. They made a movie about it called Furn Gully.
After going past all of the numbered tress (which you are now well versed in) we found ourselves in some sort of amazing Christian summer camp. There was a fantastic ropes course hanging from the trees. I’m surprised Dung Fu Grip wasn’t up there immediately. Actually, I don’t know that he wasn’t because I was miles behind by that point, but I didn’t hear about it and he doesn’t have any plunging related injuries so I assume it didn’t happen. But we all wanted to.
We finally found ourselves in the perfect setting for a horror movie, a summer camp in the off season at night. But it was really nice. They have a water slide and fancy outdoor lighting. And Canoes. We circle jerked around there for awhile, crossing many, many bridges,

before finally making it to beer check, back near that awful muddy hill.
Religion was back at the start. Timmy was RA and I was his beer fairy. We had three Virgins. Virgin Maxine told a joke, Virgin Chris showed us his butt, and Virgin Caroline showed us her tits. People drank for other things. A good time was had by all. On on on was at Salsa’s, home of the Giant Burrito!

See you all at the Red Room for the Lamp Shade Run!
PCL

Hash #733

March 22, 2014SCH3 Trash, Uncategorizedpink cherry licker

It was a beautiful Thursday afternoon, and everyone was enjoying the first long evening of the year after the daylight saving time switch. At the swanky Jack O’Neill Lounge in the Dream Inn there was some live music, many couples enjoying a romantic dinner while taking in a panoramic view of the scenic Monterrey Bay, and then in comes a bunch of jackasses in tennis shoes. We must have looked like some sort of drunken softball team in our Betty Ford jerseys. Now you’d think they’d be together enough to know how to run a bar in such a nice place, but do you know what I was charged for my drink? $6.57. I understand there is tax, but if every other bar in the universe can figure out how to charge for drinks in increments of 25 or 50 cents, why can’t they? Now I’m stuck with fucking pennies. Or I can tip 43 cents, but that’s a shitty tip and it’s not the bar tender’s fault that whoever sets the prices doesn’t understand that $6.57 is not an acceptable price for a drink. I might be stretching this point a bit for the sake of my word count as I totally forget I was supposed to write this and I didn’t take any notes. It’s several days late at this point so I shall just write whatever I remember as quickly as I can. Most of this is probably lies because I spent a lot of the night griping about the 57 cents, and didn’t take in much else of what was going on.
From the Dream Inn we took off toward the big round about by Depot Park. There was some mix ups with trail marks from that fantastic trail the week before. Trail materialized up into Neary Lagoon. Neary Lagoon is not actually a lagoon, rather a small lake that is 70% duck shit. We headed out the other side of the park into the Westside, right into the circle streets. D’BASED and Occasional Rapist were either blissfully ignorant of local happenings or wished to see us all shot because they ran us right through the area that had only hours before been the sight of a neighborhood lockdown while the police searched for an unstable gunman. And we didn’t just pass through. We passed by the epicenter of all of this excitement, not once, not twice, but three times as the trail wound back around on itself over and over again.
In the midst of this circle jerking in the Circle Streets, there was a “gurilla” beer check at the Circle Market. I don’t know if this was just too confusing or everyone is just broke, but no one went in. Apparently spelling counts because OR had to drink for this grave error. I hope we don’t apply the same standard to run-ons or starting sentences with contractions, or else I’m in trouble after the hasty ramble.
The trail was thankfully short and we found beer check in Lighthouse Field, just as the sun was setting. After that, we wandered back down Westcliff toward the start. We had religion under the train trestle near the Marine Discovery Center. They were having some sort of party over there and they turned the music up as soon as we started singing.
Religion was filled with lots of stories from Betty Ford. It turned out to be easier to have everyone who didn’t go get up there for a down down. We debuted a few new songs we’d learned down south, but I’ve forgotten then all. Moose Turd Pie brought Virgin Kevin. He told a long, terrible golf joke and then tried to redeem himself by singing a camp song (which he totally fucked up the lyrics to, if you were wondering). Both Deep Stroke and Dog Breath were back after long absences. The air was thick with sexual tension between them. I wonder why those crazy kids can’t work it out and get together. And of course the hares drank for their shitty trail.
I’m sure some other stuff happened too, but I don’t remember and I’m working frantically to get this posted before the next one goes up.

See you Thursday,
PCL

Hash #729

February 21, 2014Uncategorizedpink cherry licker

VD Hash

This week was the VD Hash, brought to us by Occasional Rapist and Shallow Hole. We started out this week at Suda, which is way too swanky for us, so we had to stay outside. Luckily there were heat lamps. It was probably for the best because it was yet another theme run. This week’s theme: pink, red, miniskirts, and kilts. The couple dining in the front window bore the full brunt of our intrusion as Dung Fu Grip stripped down to his red lingerie no more than six inches from their faces with only a thin piece of glass between them. And he didn’t even offer them any of his boob candy. The boob candy seemed pretty popular with everyone else, but somehow I abstained.
Wicked brought another virgin and they, once again, they skipped trail. Paki Sack showed up warning us of a “FHAC-U invasion.” It turned out to be an invasion of just him.
Trail headed out south on Portola, right past Frenchy’s. Maybe that’s where we lost Wicked. He was probably running low on giant dildos and lube so he figured it was a good time to stock up. A few other hashers ventured inside, but when there were no treats for us (ala Deep Stroke’s B-Day Hash) we continued on.

It turned out to be a pretty straight shot down through the Opal Cliffs neighborhood and then right back again. I think there was some circle jerk on the railroad tracks, but as a DFL, I got to skip all of that. The majority of the way back was along the beach, with a beautiful view of the ocean and the starry sky. There was a kiss check! Hugh Heifer pulled her pants down and told Broke Bench and Fap Jack to kiss her ass. Fap Jack decided to wait there for me instead. Awwwwww.
There was a lot of going away from the water and then going back toward it again. Somewhere in a dark alley there was a champagne check. How romantic.
Somewhere along the way trail went through the backyard of Virgin Alice. She and her boyfriend, Virgin Ryan, were just returning from a run and Paki and Thmp Thmp convinced them to join us. I wonder if they knew what they were getting into.
We lost a few people when we were near Wicked’s house and it became apparent that the trail continued. But for those of us that made it all the way to beer check down at Pleasure Point, there was a beautiful check waiting for us with candlelight and cock-shaped cupcakes. They were a little smushed, and I hear this was Wicked’s fault for not helping to carry them down. Squished or not, everyone got their pick of black or white cock with their beer.
We heading on in to Wicked Retahted’s backyard where there was a fire and pizza waiting for us. It was very tasty pizza. Dung Fu Grip chose Princess Di as his beer fairy because she was already wearing a tiara. Virgin Lannette (Wicked Retahted made her come) sang “Yellow Submarine.” Virgin Alice showed her butt! Virgin Ryan told a joke about whales, but all the interruptions messed up the timing and then no one laughed. So he also showed his butt. I wonder if that’s how they thought their evening would go.

On On,
PCL

Hash 726

February 1, 2014Uncategorizedpink cherry licker

Hash 726 started off at the Creepy Place once again. Puff was haring with Dung Fu Grip (Resident Back Check Bitch). We knew that religion would be at their house, but beer check would not. With Puff setting trail, Thmp Thmp took over as Hash Flash but was willing to put in the absolute minimal effort. This meant hanging the camera around his neck and pressing the button at random intervals. As a result we have a series of pictures at that most flattering angle of looking up from bellybutton height.

We headed out south on Soquel Avenue where we found a series of checks and back checks with no particular relationship to one another. Somehow we sorted our way through that mess into several construction sites and almost down to Capitola Road. A back check sent us down an ally and into the Seabright neighborhood. We headed down toward Arroyo Gultch. I was trembling, for this is where I once met my most dangerous nemesis, a ferocious snake (or a twig connected to some fishing line caught on my shoe, depending on how you look at it). Luckily we all had our flashlights, except for Phyllis Driller who reports to have excellent night vision.
As we made our way down into the Harbor, the FRBs followed what I hear was a particularly diabolical YBF up into some shiggy. Maybe up a mountain? I don’t know. I’m not a fucking FRB. All I know is that all of us doing a comfortable pace found the little space in the fence that headed toward Oceanview park. We could hear echoes of “R U?” coming from Timmy in the Harbor bellow, but no matter how many time we said “On On,” he didn’t seem to hear us. It was his favorite part of the trail.
We went up through the park where Phyllis decided to peace out. I guess using all of that night vision was taxing on the body. She went on for dinner. The rest of us persevered back into the neighborhood to find beer check. All we knew was that it was definitely not at Puff’s house. Timmy caught up and bitched a lot.
We found beer check, it was……..at Puff’s House. Or rather on the other side of Hugh’s Truck in Puff’s driveway. But we couldn’t be mad about the technicality because awaiting us at religion was a buffet of veggies, cheese, bread, and chocolate cheese cake. Yummy yummy cheese cake.

There were down downs. We sang some silly songs. It was Twat’s birthday. dBASED had returned from the 3rd world. We all got to sit in lawn chairs.

After religion some people headed over to 007 and ran into some familiar faces.

The stoners never made it out of the driveway.

On On,
Pink Cherry Licker

Hash #723

January 10, 2014SCH3 Trashpink cherry licker

This week started off back over at the West End Tap and Kitchen. TIMMY! And Dung Fu Grip hared. I kinda get the feeling that TIMMY! planned it and Dung Fu acted as the back check bitch.
The trail was ….. dark. We had few more of those numbered back checks, but apparently we’ve learned to count since last week because we were able to find the way this time. We wandered down past Antonelli’s Pond and into Natural Bridges.
Did I mention it was dark? The first liquor check was a bottle of fireball on a foot bridge headed down toward the beach. When it became apparent that the trail headed down to the sand and then back up to the treeline, some hashers thought they could short cut. However, the darkness was concealing a lagoon! The lagoon prevented short cutting, so we all had to trudge through the sand.
Then we headed back up to the road. The more adventurous among us hopped a fence. It was tall and not hooping friendly. The rest of us went around. Then off through the maze that is the Lower West Side. I was glad to have a good group with me when we hit the field at PCS. We all spread out in a line across the field to find the flour. You know, like search parties do when they’re looking for dead bodies.
The second liquor check was down on one of the cliffs, but I didn’t go down. Do you know why? Because every year some asshole gets swept away down there and I don’t feel the least bit sorry for them because there are signs all over the place. I hear it was the apple schnapps that we never found on the Krampus run. I hope you all had fun with that.
We (predictably) ended up at Garfield park. There was beer. We drank it.
Religion was in the parking lot behind Safeway. We have several new transplants! Little Kahuna joined us, his mother hash is in Maddison. We also had Snapping Twat from Austin. She brought Virgin Jeff. He showed us his ass. We also had Virgin Jamie, she made herself come. She told an absolutely awful joke. Twat got her 50 run patch and taught us some dirty sign language. It was Accu’s birthday (Happy Birthday, fuck you).
We were almost ready to go when someone noticed Puff’s brand new shoes! Shouldn’t he know better by now? I guess he figures it’s a way to get more beer at down downs.