What a great long weekend we had after hashing last week! We started off the birthday of America right with drinking beer and running like fools in the blistering heat of the day! We gathered at the lovely home of Cumcerto and her not present husband up in the Santa Cruz Gardens neighborhood. Hares: Thmp Thmp and Cumcerto, and beer checks hostess with the mostess Princess di-arrhea. It was a good sized group, I didn’t actually count but half the crowd was dBASEDs’ family. The Just and Virgin Janseens: Just Michelle (her first ever hash was haring with her bro dBASED), virgin Savy, Sophie and Makena from Maui, and grandpa Herpes Handcock from So. Cal.,Little Spit and Hot Wheels. Even Hugh Heifer’s offspring Edgar’s girlfriend came along. We had visitor’s from SVH3, Hicki Dick and his virgin Debbie. Trail was a bit fucked up, but because we had our first beer check at less than a mile it certainly made up for it. There was an eagle and turkey split, most took the turkey so they all made it to the second beer check with no incident, along with the only Eagle trial  hasher Hot Wheels (FRB), this was d/t some pissed off neighbor with a shot gun not wanting us hasher’s having fun! Damn it. Oh well back to the on on we all went (last of the eagles). But we did pop back over to the last beer check by short cut method w Thmp Thmp’s help. It was mostly shiggy thru the trees so that was refreshing. The best part was socializing and what a feast this hare pair crew provided us! Apple Pie and wienies! Now that’s what I’m talking about! Thmp Thmp also made some amazing seasoned saltines, trailer trash gourmet people! Yum. Great beer, and a great hash celebration what else can I say? OK so the religion low down. dBASED RA/Beer Fairy: Down down to all backslider’s: Hogazm, Waxi pad, Just Ann, the Human Pube, Just Laura (5th hash), Little Spit, Hot Wheels. Down downs for all visitor’s: the hawaii group, Herpes H., Hicki Dick and his virgin Debbie. We had Virgins under 21 and Virgins over 21 well 1, technically dBASED’s sister Just Michelle wasn’t a virgin, as she said “I’m a semi virgin”. OK, then they told some dumb jokes. It was time to start naming or getting ideas for Just Laura. We had a lot of good ones, but in the end we welcomed her as “Monthly Friend”! Welcome to the hash! And Pick Cherry Licker celebrated her 25th hashing with us, get a life get a life! And the hares! Thanks for your Rockin Freedom Hash! Whoo hoo. We also had good news on this day: Deep Stroke announced that she really is finally leaving! Yaay! Finally! Yup folks as of this writing she is traveling in the wind! Somehow though I think we shall see her again! Maybe at this weekend’s SFH3 RDR! Who’s all going? dBASED myself and shallow hole will be there. Ok see you wankers tonight the start at Aptos BBQ!!

Occasional

Travelling from Aptos to Boulder creek can feel like an eternity! But this week proved to be worth the jaunt. At least for working on my ass! The trio hares were: Hugh Heifer, Twisted Fister, and a first haring for Sunday Semen. We met at Joe’s bar, it always amazes me how crowded that bar can get. The pack on this night started out large but most only made it to the start (you know whom you are). We had a Virgin this night, Virgin Gina!!, Mass Storage Device and Broke Bench Mountain made her cum. Ghetto Man (Cann’d hasher) blew in from Monterey! Riding in on his horse of steel! Even Dung Fu Grip is still here! While the Distance of this horrific trail wasn’t long (~2.23 miles), the incredible vertical vertigo made up for it! Trail was confusing in the beginning, too many falses and checks, but once we got to the bottom of the hill near the cemetary we knew going up was inevitable. One mile straight up folks! That beer at the end never tasted so damn good! Kudos to them for carrying all that beer in on their backs (and thank you for adding ice!)! Mass Storage Device gave up too soon, she missed beer check at the waterfall! Now the horrific part of this story is towards the end. Thanks to Hugh, we took a short cut trail back down the hill which we had to navigate threw po and accross the creek bed and over a large tree trunk. Somewhere there must have been a wasp’ nest, I kid you not, and guess who was DFL coming down? The pack had stirred up them boyz and now they we’re ready to bite! I got stung at least 10 times, on my head, wrist, and back, dang M_ther F_ckers! I hate wasp’s! They have a special affinity with me when it comes to being in the woods and being sweaty. Religion was behind the school. dBASED played RA and beer fairy. Dung fu grip got a down down for being our new “Deep Stroke” wannabe, he was even climbing trees above the waterfall. We should have given downs downs to the hounds whom actually ran up this hill (Ghetto Man and likely Dung Fu Grip). At religion we had a single tit showing by Virgin Gina (even though she was offered the interpretive dance choice), after she sang some song? She likely would have kept going and danced too, but we moved on. Then we gave down downs to all the hasher’s that didn’t do trail at all, Too Drunk to Fuck, Get up and Run Bitch,  Cums out my Nose. And then one for Puff as he still managed to step in a pile of doggy shit on trail (even after Mass Storage Device made a circle around it in bright pink chalk!), LOL. And last and least TIMMY! got a down down for cumpleting 25 consecutive hashes! And the Hares…….

Ok wanker’s! On On this week … TONIGHT at Sante Adairius Rusty Ales at 6:33PM! I’ll be ready for a nice cold brew!

On On Occasional Rapist..

Another dBASED nightmare….We all met at our house. We had the dis-pleasure of having Dung Fu Grip, Shiney snail trail and a long distance old hasher named Fine young Cannibal join in this week. dBASED is never afraid to romp through the terrain even if there is poison oak about. Somehow tho the trail was decent. I actually enjoyed the views, shhh don’t tell him. We did about a 4 mile loop starting down Park avenue through a campsite trail (where the rangers almost stopped us) at New Brighton and then train tracks down to the fields to the beach and back along the low tide sands of NB state beach. Can’t think of anything to report beside trying to stay away from PO all along trail. Shiny snail trail (SST) wanted to show dBASED how his trail made her happy (not pissed off as he had hoped) so she picked flowers (weeds) all along the way to make him a bouquet, I think you could say they’ve made up for whatever thing they had going on, LOL…The pack did a good job staying fairly close d/t many back checks. Beer check was behind Cuff my Muff’s casa, on a nice patch of grass. We then stumbled accross the street back to our house for Religion. Accuprick was RA and Pink Cherry Licker his beer fairy. Fine young cannibal got a down down for major back sliding, at first we thought it was his first SC hash run but he did run many moon’s ago so dBASED or someone got another down down for lying. Deep Stroke got a down down for always “winning”, ThmpThmp for no song, SST for straddeling a cock like thing the hash before (see picture from Hash flash 688), Hugh for Kai shitting (again), and Puff celebrating his 675th hash run and TIMMY! for his 375th hash run! And the Hare dBASED! Lucky for me I didn’t cum down with any PO, I was well covered. I hope the same can be said for you:) well until his next nightmare….

This week’s hash run will be starting up in Boulder Creek at Joe’s bar, we have : Hugh Heifer et. al:)

On On,

Occasional Rapist

Escape from Seacape seemed to be the theme on this night. Also escape from Pink! Or embrace it, as many of us hasher’s did. Choka cola and Hairy Potter brought their new baby girl to the start! Micah, she is soo cute! They did not walk trail or run so technically we can’t count it as her first hash, but I think we will:) Anyhell. We all felt very cozy in the pretty bar by the bay, Palapas. I was asked by some young gal outside on the patio “do you play a sport?” Um yes, I run with the hash house harrier’s I says. LOL. Offered the card but they didn’t poke any further. Me and my tofu socks always draw some attention. Trail was led by the fearless couple Thmp Thmp and Princess Di-arrhea! They led us on another run for them hills kind of trail. Views, hills and then beer caliente fresco with a beautiful sunset at the end. I was suprised only 13 of us showed up for this lovely hash. Trail ran up an amazing hill which almost killed us but then there was some liquor to inhale, dBASED wanted to hold the bottle because it had big boobies, but then he gave it to Accuprick, whom then tried to pawn it off to us. Down back through Seascape neighborhoods where long sweeping areas of lawn separate the homes. Can I live here? It was such a warm night Cuff my muff warned us she would dive into any water on trail. Lucky for her it was sprinkler’s. Just when we thought we couldn’t go on (3.25 miles) out popped the park by the cliffs where beer check showed up. An ice cold Tecate (or Corona), lime wedge and a splash of tampatio, with sunset glow and good hasher buds, what else do you need? We then walked back to the parking lot behind Seascape Palapas to get religion on.  Accuprick appointed Hugh as his  stinko de mayo beer fairy (she had the cool mini sombrero hat). Accu. is in-famous for giving himself down downs, this time for saying how good the trail was whilst he was on it. Also I got the shit tonya song finally, didn’t think this time would cum, actually Nipple-less butt NEVER shits ON trail but whatever.  Also Princess Di-arrhea got her 10th hare patch! Hey Puff I never got no friggin’ 10 hare patch? And the figgin’  hares……!

OK people for those hasher’s whom hate to run hashes d/t being bar flys, here is your chance! Hugh is going to be half a century this week! She is haring a non-running hash and it starts at Reds downtown! Where your finest attire, not hash clothes or you won’t get in. Still bring your $8 cause it will buy her a drink!

See you there gang

Occasional…

Trail 682 was hared my the sister hares Princess Di-arrhea and Cumcerto. This was the first haring for Cumcerto. We started at the one double Oh seven club bar, whew that place can get mighty smokey, but we we’re able to tolerate the room to the left whilst drinking a coldie before trail (most of us anyways). Off we went, through Seabright neighborhood, criss crossing seabright and Cayuga after solving some false checks.  Now where the trail gets fuzzy is where Cuff my muff, and Wicked Retahted and myself got lost in translation, but I think I know what happend using my special ESP. Somehow no one ever saw the check down by the tracks, got smudged somehow, so off the pack ran accross the tressle there was a YBF. There was also a YBF toward the other direction of Days Market on the tracks (we saw this after we got our bareback burgers togo heading to the old night owl bar for our beer). Us lost DFL’s ran toward the SC History Museum and East cliff. Once we got there, we said, screw it let’s go get a burger and a beer! And off trail we went. But the pack was able to navigate trail back up hill toward’s Ocean View Park, where they we’re greeted by a friendly Security guard, now where in the hell was this guy when Shallow Hole and I hared 2011 Halloween Hash? This guy was making jokes about “watching out for them Vampires” in reference to some movie called “the Lost Boys”? Anyhow, then there was a liquor check of Jim Beam, wow, that tasted some nasty, Dog Breathe grabbed it so the security guard wouldn’t change his mind about the pack playing in the park. The activity on trail was getting us half-minds to use wax paper and slide down the park slides, LOL! I WISH I could have seen that one! Make them work for their alcohol! Off through Seabright neighborhood once again the trail led the pack, back over Soquel, near the bar behind “Monkey Girl Beads” store where beer check existed. They made so much noise a curious neighbor showed up to learn all about the hash and drink a beer with the pack! Way to go! Now that’s what I call friendly relations. Religion was at casa de Puff the Magic Drag Queen (PTMDG). Accuprick played RA and appointed Just Sierra his beer fairy. Ralphie got his down down for most back slider that ever existed. Down downs for all hashers whom did not participate in the slide “activity”, then of all things Hugh and Dog Breathe decided to have a sing off of some stupid American Idol rendition. Hugh won. Accuprick reported and depicted quite nicely some good interactions with some undesirables on trail down by the tressle. And afterward, Just Sierra’s dog was found to be nawing on some dead deer leg that still had hair all over it, in the yard lawn of the house infront of PTMDG’s place,  yuk! And the hares……..

So remember we have Red Dress Run coming down the pike on May 11th, Saturday at 3pm, GO GET YOUR RED DRESS! Do it now!

Also This week hash #683, I’ll be co-haring with Mr. Wicked himself in his backyard of Pleasure Point. This is a fun Cowboy/Cowgirl themed hash so let’s get dolled up and wear our finest, bestest cowboy attire! I’m wearing boots and so is he and yes we will run in them! See all of ya all later:)

On On

Occasional Rapist

We gathered at Aptos BBQ, it was quite funny to see the reactions of other customer’s as we all wore some sort of lampshade on our heads. Some of us got really into the decoration’s, while some decided just to get a lampshade and strap it on their heads in some sort of fashion. Didn’t matter much we all looked funny and ridick-luous and we love that about hashing don’t we? Well what can I say about trail, it was one fucked up mess thats for sure. Hot Wheels and his e-vile dad dBASED took us on a ride for sure. Cuff and I we’re DFL’s and discovered flour by the railroad tracks as the pack was heading down frontage road, they then turned around and we all headed back down Soquel drive, what the hares didn’t want us to do was to go up to the tracks at the light intersection by the old Britania Arms, thats where we caught the hare dBASED running back from laying trail, he sat until we were out of sight. Meanwhile Hot Wheels was running past down Soquel towards Nisene while we were roaming through the parking lot of Rancho DeLMar. We did a nice loop around Seacliff, back down the railroad tracks to the bike park and up Cathedral where we had beer check in a family friends driveway. Miles we had to endure was a little over 3. Thank goodness we had good beer at the end to make up for this nightmare. Religion was behind the OLD Antique barn next to the bike park. Accuprick played RA and appointed the new lovely harriettes Just Jenna and Bareback his beer mistresses. First down down was for Wicked, as lately he hasn’t been running trail, he says “because I’m old” , well you know what they say Wicked, if you don’t use it you lose it! Second down downs went to hasher’s whom did not follow directions or were too fuckin cheap to go get a lampshade to wear, Cumcerto, Puff and Princess Di-arrhea. What is funny about Cumcerto is first she complained on the FB hash page about everyone taking all the lampshades from the goodwill stores, but then she did get lucky and admitted to have bought one, but then in the end decided not to wear it? WTF? Where is your hashing spirit! I hope everyone get’s in the spirit when the Cowgirl/Cowboy hash comes to town, I think we need to start giving some incentives to participating, any suggestions? OK, it seems every week Kai decides to shit on trail, now partly this is Hugh’s fault, as we dog owner’s all know dogs take a crap within the first 15-30 minutes of exercising, so hello, walk your pooch before trail and we won’t sing ya the “Shit tanya” song ok? I feel for our new hasher Just Zack he was welcomed this night into our hasher SCH3 family as “The Human Pube”, sorry dude I voted for the cool reaggae name. But Welcome!! Then since we saw so many of Aptos un-desirables on trail this fine evening, we decided to call up all Aptos resident’s and or hashers that could be defined as trailer trash, so Deep Stroke was the first to go there, as she says “I don’t really have an address”. And the hares….don’t go too far, we have to endure the evil-e dBASED one more fuckin time tonight, he is de-virginizing Twisted fister into the haring world, god bless him and us all. See you tonight at The Next Door (to Jia Tella’s that is)bar at 6:33PM!

On On

Occasional Rapist