Start was at Aloha Island Grill- a nice establishment, I tried the Koko porter beer, and yes it had coconut flavor-I was instantly feeling aloha- ish (except I was wearing a rain jacket hoodie and long running pants with shiggy socks).  We had a new but older Hasher named Golden Shower’s show up, he’s a military man, and boy it showed.  Just Shane was on his 5th hash this time, so many of us we’re trying to gather info. on him.  As best as my half-mind can remember last week’s trail was cold, marginal, and in some places darn right confusing! But the shiggy was fun, if you didn’t catch any poison oak along the way. Princess (Di) arrhea and Thmp Thmp gave us an interesting ride around East cliff/Portola/Sunny Cove, Twin Lakes Beach/Schwan Lagoon Trails behind Simpkins pool, and many condo/apartments and their yards, and lucky for us (or not) the rain gods we’re on our side during this run, but the wind gods hated us! Religion was the quickest I’ve ever attended! Beer check rocked with homemade chocolate chip cookies. What else is there to say? Trail was ~ 3 miles or so (click here for trail map of both Occasional Rapist=true trail, or dBASED=not so true trail) depending on who got lost and who didn’t follow flour (and you all know who you are).  We we’re too cold to name Just Shane this time, and he was lucky we didn’t just name him, “it’s fuckin cold”. I rate this hash 5 beer’s! On On into this weeks hash with Puff TMDQ and TIMMY!

Good night

Occasional Rapist

This was a trail from hell. We started at the Rush Inn. Hugh Heifer didn’t even leave the bar until 7PM, she wanted to have her third COCKtail before re-hashing her pre-laid trail. She claimed her co-hares Great Barrier Queef and Six O’ Nine had already left and they we’re starting to lay trail before her, umm yeah sure. The theme this hash was in celebration of spring training of baseball, and HH likes the Oakland A’s so she was decked out, this was probably her cleverest idea about her trail. Most of us like the Giant’s. Hairy fuck 2.5 likes Hockey so he wore his team of choice jersey. We then headed up toward’s Mission street, somewhere over the Mission rainbow there was beer and jello shot’s. Green and yellow color’s of course. This was after zig zagging over by the SC high school, the railroad tracks and near train track tunnel.  We almost had dejavu because we thought we just hashed a similar trail a few week’s back? Or was it a nightmare dream? Anyhoot, religion was again over at top of the River street garage. Several Hasher’s got down down’s so I won’t bore you with all the details (you know who you are) like Mrs. Groper for being a “I stay at camp” on the bar stool. I think the most bothersome down down had to be for Wicked Retahted getting caught by the pack for humpin’ a tree when he thought no one was a lookin’…. Good one brah.. Your name suits you well!!  The only semi-sane mother fucker hasher amongst us had to be a visitor no less, from the Can’d Hash Monterey= Boner Malfunction. He had the balls to come sail over his yacht from Monterey to sing hash song’s to us. He fell in love with us ever since 10 of us SCH3 wanker’s showed up at their Can’d Red dress over Valentine’s Day weekend. He CAN’T get enough of us. Thank goodness this was the last dark trail. Daylight savings is alive and well!!

Looking forward to the Green Dress run on 3/15? I hope you have your verde (yes that’s green in spanglish) dresses ironed and pressed! Please make sure to leave your poochie’s at home (not a good hash for dog’s-sorry nipple butt) and bring ID and some cash on trail, you’ll be needing it fo’ sure.

OK I’m friggin out of here you half minds……your on your own.

For those of you whom missed BFR–you missed a bloody good time!!

Aimmie sang it best ” They said I should go to rehab, and I said No, No No.!!!! I think I’ll go on hashing, I say yeah yeah yeah. One more beer and one more whiskey……

On On Occasional Rapist

Foot Loose and Panty Free celebrated her half century year anniversary with us by haring this hidious hash. http://www.flickr.com/photos/puffmdq/6905285377/in/set-72157629391044959. Parish Publick House was the start pub, and soon we would be introduced to Panty Free’s childhood-hood, where she grew up hitting the streets on her cycle. We had a visitor hasher named Fa-gina, whom hailed from the SLuT H3.  She likes us so much she wants to live here and become a SCH3 regular. This trail was interesting from the start. Panty had a sexy trail using pink colored flour in perfectly shaped circles.  For the hares whom actually followed trail, we we’re awarded an excellent beer check at Westcliff and David, what a great view. We even got fed Kosher sliced dill pickles as a snack. We tried to await the rest of the pack but finally realized our usual FRB’s likely missed trail all together and moved ahead. Beer check number 2 was at the SC Mountain Brewery, where we found our missing pack member’s; dBASED, Hot Wheels, Banana, Wicked R. to name a few.  Full trail was ~ 4.5 miles see mymap here=http://www.mapmyrun.com/routes/view/69536128. Religion moved onto the parking lot behind Safeway on Mission. RA: Accuprick, Beer Fairy: Banana Basher. Down down’s we’re given out to the lame pack member’s whom didn’t show up to first BC.  Tiny Whiney and Hairy Potter got down down for getting laid before the hash. Accuprick was rewarded with his “69th” hash. On this night our newest member Just Kim was baptized “Twat did you say?”, she teaches deaf and dumb children.  Little Boney showed up in cowboy boots during 2nd beer check, down down for looking too western at a hash.  Finally the hare, whom decided to spend her actual birthday with us her hash family! We are blessed or cursed?

Next week we shall see,

On On …and On…..

Occasional Rapist

Hello my fellow hashers! It’s been a longtime! We had another great hash on Thursday #616, new to haring Canadian Penny Slut was the hare with her co-hare Shallow Hole! No skunk repellant was necessary on this trail. Apparently the family of skunks that raided Waxi-pad, Shallow, and beer mop’s home left after torturing them for almost 2 week’s! Or was it the otherway around? We met at the infamous Red Room downtown. We had a good turnout, even Mrs. Groper popped in for pre-lube. Trail went zig zagged through some cool street’s of downtown SC, Center, to New Street. Before we did this we did cross path’s with some local bum’s camped out what I think was behind the public library? They seemed interested in what we we’re doing. New street has some really cool historical homes. We ventured up through Santa Cruz High School, up Chestnut to where beer check was off Mission in a parking lot behind an office buidling. Good place for BC. Of course all the FRB’s we’re there before us walker’s. The trail was ~ 1.6 miles=map .  Mostly uneventful until religion. At the start there was some commotion where it was found Swiss Army Cock had handcuffed Hairy Potter! I think he was jealous he got picked as the beer fairy! Luckily our Cuff my Muff being the person she is had keys to unlock the cuff’s-Go Cuff! Religion was at the top of Oswald’s parking garage-RA: Accuprick, beer fairy: Hairy Potter. We had several backslider’s: Broke Bench-(whom by the way has lost about 15 pounds and can see his dick now–ziggy zaggy), Ralphie Cramed-in, Hairy Fuck 2.5, Wicked Retahted. Broke bench was infamous this night as he also got his 169 Hashing badge of dis-honor. Was I hearing things right when Tiny Whiny Bitch got a down down for, “tight mudd”? patches we’re thrown upon Canadian Penny Slut and Shallow Hole for “experienced hares”. Really? On on on was enjoyed by 9 of us bastard’s at the I love Sushi, we’re we we’re given free sake and free app.’s.! HMO Bowl, StuporBowl Hash #617–if you we’re unfortunate enough to have attended either of these event’s lord or mighty! The HMO Bowl was a disaster game for the yellow team -at alf time Both yellow team and blue team we’re tied. As I watched from the sidelines with Ram Pam and ET, I thought to myself, these blokes actually look like they know what there doing! But in the end Yellow team (which had dBASED, Hot Wheels, and?) lost, it was a close game though 7/6 Blue team boyz. Good game though. Ok so those men or boyz whom didn’t die fromt he HMO bowl continued on to hash #617-started at the Brittania Arms about 1:15 ish. Trail was a bit confusing as there we’re how many options? So many I can’t count. Turkey Chicken, Eagle Turkey, I felt like I was in a restaurant hearing the daily specials. Jeez…ok well you know what trail you did so I won’t go into too much detail. Longest Eagle Eagle ran about 4.5 miles. Shortest was chicken at about 1.15 miles. We stumbled back over the the lovely Lil Anal Annie and Butt balls casa where we already could smell the burning flesh of a BBQ. Good eats and drink had by all, Thanks again to our host’s and their providing us with- how much?– like 18 friggin’ pounds of skirt steak!! and the Pussy Troupe for his excellent beer, and everyone whom made/brought good eats! Game sucked ’cause niner’s we not there! Nuff said……On On coming up this week is the Valentine hash #618 with Choka Cola and her future hubby Hairy potter! I hope other hash bastard’s also are going to the Can’D hash this coming Saturday 2/11 for their RED dress Run!!! There’s a few of us carpooling from dBASED abode around high noon!

Beer there, or Beer Square!!!!

And FYI don’t be fooled by dBASED when he states he got a piece after a hash, ’cause nine times out of ten he confuses it with getting a piece of himself!! LOL!  Everyone rejoices!

On on and ON…Occasional Rapist!!

This hash was up North in the beautiful but shit ass cold mountains of Boulder Creek. Joe’s bar is a fixture of this community. “If you haven’t been to Joe’s, you haven’t been to Boulder Creek!” Hashing up here is when we see the local SCH3 hasher’s, backslider’s they were: Pussy Galore, Goldicock’s, Duuuh, Broken shaft, Broke bench and Comes out my nose, even Just Linda decided to return hash #2 (she lives close too). This was a birthday hash for Hairy fuck 2.5, whom hared this shitty run with Pussy Galore. We had a GREAT turnout 22 of us. Heck we even had two visitor’s, Just Felipe from Portland (3rd hash ever anywhere), and his side kick Virgin Court, from NYC but they we’rent noticed until religion or was it beer check? We ran circles around Hwy 9 and 236. ‘Where the cow roam’ was a killer hot buttered run check-TIMMY! was heard yelping “Warm’s your cockles!” . Then with a BN signage! we stopped at Broken shaft & Comes out my nose’s abode on Francis Dr. for some cold brews. This is where we realized that the trail had turned to the Dog’s! Shit everyone whom lives in the mountains has a dog! The pack then scampered toward’s Duuuh’s house on Davidson way for religion. RA Broken shaft let on the charm, down down’s for just about anything he could think of! Backslider’s, crimes on trail, heck even Princess Di-arrhea got down down for beastiality hat (no dog) Hot wheels was scared of the foot bridge we crossed, Wicked retahted was hear yelling “I’ll RACE just Linda!”. Virgin Court gave a lame ass Blonde joke we all knew already. The fucking DFL’s Too drunk to fuck and Just shut up and run bitch! made last call at religion! dBASED whom made a comment his shoes are always untied, in which Wicked Retahted replied (in his usual wicked retahted manner) “My brains are always untied!”. And the hares!
Oh and Six O’ nine was not there!…..and so it was, The last hash of 2011! I hope you enjoyed it!
On…On…On.. into 2012 !!!
Occasional Rapist!

This has been dubbed the hash of the Invasion of the virgins! The hasher’s met at the Seabright brewery, the original Santa Cruz 100% Non-organic brewery making Orgasmic beer since 1988. Yes Orgasmic! Swiss army cock and Tiny winey bitch haring this god forsaken group of loser’s. It appeared Just Dan came to get named this night and decided he needed a few virgins to support him (Erika being one of them). Just Ted also showed up and this was his 2nd hash with SC. We chugged our Pelican Pales with vigor as TIMMY gave chalk talk to the 6 virgins that showed up. In some shape or form these virgins had some kind of encounter with hasher’s prior. Virgin TJ (aka total Jock!) came by Johhny Cockring even though he came alone! He said it was his birthday and he was hoping to get lucky! Just Dan made Virgin Rodney come on trail. It was a canine friendly trail so all the hasher’s whom enjoy beastiality brought their beast’s on trail. Virgin Tuala and Virgin Gwendolyn encountered us from Brady’s Yacht club during the Pirates hash so intrigued… they decided to come see what hashing was about. Trail left the bar at usual timing, and most of the pack made their way down to the Harbor. The lighted boats made for a festive show during the hash. Now what would 609 hash be without our only Six o’ nine hasher! He shortcutted his way to find the pack making their way back down Eaton street towards the Pacific Edge climbing gym. He was towing his virgin Stephanie. I will spare you the boring details of trail and shortcut to the juicy part’s. Highlight was the jiggly wiggly fun of getting a jello shot at Fredrick street park, first beer check. Second was at a dock nearest Crow’s Nest restaurant. Religion: we gathered in the parking lot near Pacific Edge climbing gym. RA was Vince van blow me, Occasion Rapist (Occ. Rap.) was the beer fairy chick. Before the cops broke up the party….
This hash produced several milestones! One-Banana missed this hash so Puff TMDG (by the way Puff likes Dragon’s that’s how he came about being named), is now in the top for running the most SCH3 hashes! Then there’s Swiss Army Cock whom hared first time in his hash life. Hairy Potter got down down for his 150th hash this night. For their initiation bit the 6 virgins of which sang stupid songs we all heard before. Virgin TJ bored us with a Cardinal joke, when all the harriette’s wanted was to be shown “one cock will do us”. Then the naming of Just Dan, how many times have we tried to name this fool?Finally the hasher’s decided on Slo Nad, it was a perfect fit! Some hasher comments of the harriette virgins I heard we’re; Gwendolyn: her outfit was so tight her belly button protruded like the stem on a pumkin. Tuala: upon her arrival @ SBB for on-on-on she began taking her clothes off like a stripper late to a bachelor party! Stephanie: she stood quitely and staring during religion like a jew visiting the holocaust museum @ Auschwitz. Erika: her mouth feel open so widely @ songs crooned during religion Puff wanted to toss in a penny to make a wish! and the fuckin’ Hares!!!

And so the story goes…..move over once,  move over twice come on baby, 609 will go down in hasher history!!

On On and On….Occ. Rap!!

Map to trail as done by dBASED