Our Hares Ralph-U-Crammed-In and dBASED summoned the pack to Bocci’s Cellar.  dBASED appeared to be in a supporting role this week.  Back slider, Diddler on the Roofie returned!  He claimed that work was interfering with hashing.  Lame excuse dude!  We had a Virgin.  Virgin Don met the hash in Scotts Valley on Conference Road.  He heard us having Religion and came out of his driveway to see what all the ruckus was about.  Someone offered him a beer, and instead of calling the cops, he decided to join us this week.  Banana Basher made his second appearance in the past month!  It was Just Mike’s 6^th hash and was up for naming this week.

You heard the story about the tortoise and the hare, right?  Well this is the story of the hare that was the tortoise.  There was not just one, but three hare snarings.  The customary 15 minute lead time was apparently not enough.  Surf City usually does live trails.  However, this was the case where a pre-lay would’ve been the way to go.

The pack followed flour on Encinal Street, and then headed towards Harvey West Park.  We followed flour through the park into the woods.

The hares ignored the “closed trail” sign and continued on a single track trail, over a bridge to the end of Meadow road.  There was a big 6 foot chain link fence blocking the exit.  Dung Fu Grip’s first instinct was to climb the fence.  He got yelled at by a neighbor.  Luckily the fence was movable, and hashers got through without climbing it.  During all the fence fiasco, Dung Fu Grip snared the hares.  The guy who yelled at Dung Fu knew Puff, so he didn’t call the cops.  The pack waited a bit to give the hares some time to get away, then proceeded down Meadow road, left on Sheldon Ave, left on Highland.  As the FRB’s were going down the hill, we spotted the hares for the second time.  Everybody hung out waiting for the hares to get away.  The stoners got stoned.  Dog Breath had time to do 25 sit ups.  After about 10 minutes, the pack continued down the hill to High Street, down the trail back to Coral Street.  The trail continued down Coral Street to the railroad tracks to Pioneer Street.  Non-runners, Banana Basher and Wicked Retahted caught Ralph-U-Crammed-In on Pioneer Street.  He handed them the flour and they finished marking the trail to Beer Check at the end of Pioneer Street.

Religion was at the usual spot on Pioneer Street by the railroad tracks.  Accuprick was RA and Shiny Snail Trail was Beer Fairy.  Diddler on the Roofie was called up for being a backslider.  Broke Bench Mountain was called up for not doing trail.  He’s been dieting and did a “real run” to burn more calories.  Watch out!  He may turn into a racist!  Dog Breath made some false accusations.  What else is new?  Shiny Snail Trail, Occasional Rapist and Yours Truly were called up to perform the African Donkey Dick Dance we made up on trail.  Virgin Don said we all made him cum and sang a song.  Welcome to the hash.  Second Cumming was called up for thinking today was Easter Sunday.  Accuprick reoriented her to time and place.  Dung Fu Grip, Cumcerto and Yours Truly were called up for snaring the hares.  Thmp-Thmp was rewarded for chivalry on trail.  He helped hashers and Nippleless Butt over a fence.  Just Carolyn was called up for being a sissy.  She got cramps and couldn’t finish trail.  She met up with Banana Basher and Wicked Retahted in the cemetery and told incriminating stories about Shiny Snail Trail.  Finger Nips was called up to tell the pack about some type of weed she smoked that gave her a 2 hour orgasm.  Hot Damn!  Hugh Heifer, Princess Di (arrhea) and Thmp-Thmp represented Surf City at Silicone Valley’s Red Dress Run last weekend and lived to tell about it.

We had a successful .  He will be forever known as Hertz Indianus!  Welcome to the hash!

And last but not least, The Hares………………………

On On,

Shallow Hole

Slippery Slope on a Rope

This Week, Twisted Fister and Dung Fu Grip brought the pack to JJ’s Saloon in Soquel.  It had been raining nonstop for 2 days.  Luckily the rain stopped in time for the hash.  Dog Breath returned from working in the red light district in Thailand.  Beware single Harriettes!  He may have brought back some microscopic souvenirs!  Tiny Whiny Bitch showed up.  He was visiting from Colorado and showed up late, but was able to catch up with the DFL’s.

The pack circled up in back of the bar, and took off in usual lackadaisical fashion in search of flour.  We went through the side alley out to Soquel and almost tripped over a car bumper in the sidewalk.  It belonged to some schmuck who was exchanging accident information with another guy.  There was a check on the corner of Soquel and Main.  After checking 2 wrong directions, someone finally solved the check and went right on Main, left on E Walnut and back out to Soquel.  Achy Breaky Snatch solved the next check and took us right on Capitola Ave.  We went quite a ways down Capitola Ave until trail turned right on Hill for only about a block, then went left on Lawrence.  After a confusing check, and a YBF, the pack crossed the street and went down Oak, which lead to the trail in back of Nob Hill that cut across to Wharf Road.  The pack was getting thirsty!  Some reminisced about a past trail where there was a tequila check and the hares almost got caught by the cops.

There was a liquor check under a bridge on Wharf Rd.  The bottle of vodka had a combination lock on it.  After a couple hashers tried to get the top off, Dog Breath finally figured it out.  Trail continued all the way back to Soquel.  After crossing the street, we spotted the fence that the Hares warned us about.  It was a small wooden fence that lead to a steep slippery slope down a hill.  The Hares were thoughtful enough to put a rope to hang on to as hashers repelled down the hill.  To my knowledge, everyone made it down alive.  Trail continued along a wet, creek bed.  Princess Di(arrhea) found a tampon.  Cumcerto almost got stuck in quick sand.   There was photographic evidence showing that Occasional Rapist and Tiny Whiny Bitch lost trail, but found another fence to climb.  The overachievers decided one fence wasn’t good enough and climbed a 6 foot chain link fence.  Not sure where it was, but they didn’t make it to beer check.  Cumcerto and I climbed up the other side of the creek bed and ended up on the trails in back of Soquel High School.  There was a check at the bottom of a hill.  We proceeded to follow trail up the hill.  Beer check was at the top of the hill.  Thmp-Thmp and some other lazy fuckers refused to go up the hill.  They eventually found beer check.  dBASED was trying to catch the Hares, but no one saw him on trail.  He did make it to beer check. 

Religion was in back of JJ’s.  Accuprick was RA and appointed yours truly Beer Fairy.  Backsliders, Dog Breath and Finger Nips were called up first.  Dog Breath was in Asia and Finger nips was moving.  Next was Analversaries.  Canadian Penny Slut celebrated her 25^th Surf City Hash.  That’s almost as bad as Slonad.  Her first hash was my first hash.  It was January 20, 2011!  Dung Fu Grip celebrated his 10^th Haring.  Broke Bench Mountain celebrated 220 hashes.  Get a life!  Occasional Rapist and Tiny Whiny Bitch got lost and went the wrong way.  They were so traumatized, they were back at the bar.  dBASED did her down down.  Achy Breaky Snatch was called up for her lewd behavior at the Can’d Hash.  She flashed the hot military guys, but not Surf City hashers.  Thmp-Thmp, Just Mike, Fap Jack were called up for trying to short cut going up the big hill to beer check.  Tiny Whiny Bitch was visiting from Colorado and got called up for a down down.  Pink Cherry Licker accused Accuprick and Wicked Retahted of having an Abbot and Costello Bromance.  Hugh Heifer and Me were called up for being Deadhead hippies.  Twisted Fister was chastised for whining about how he had to avoid the cops at Blue balls Park and carry heavy cooler of beer up the hill to beer check.  And last but not least, The Hares…………..

Next hash will be Thursday March 6 th.  Prelube to Betty Ford Hash Weekend!  Meet at Tampico, where we will be following the slow and the blind.  Pink Cherry Licker and Fap Jack promised a shitty trail!

On On,

Shallow Hole