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Wharf to Barf Weekend Synopsis

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Warf to Barf Weekend: Jam Out with Your Clam Out!

Thursday 7/21/16: Prelube Hash # 864

864dfgFour Hares, One amazing trail! In fact, probably trail of the year!  We have 4 votes so far!  The evening commenced at the Crazy Horse Bar on Seabright Ave.  This little bar has a new name every 6 months or so.  It’s been The Blue Louse, Mad House, Seabright Lounge, the 529 and the Knight Owl.  One common denominator is that the bar has always been friendly towards us hashers.

It was a picture hash, and approximately 3 miles. Trail was gluten free!  Pink Cherry Licker864log1 read the directions to the hash in circle and gave out the first picture.  Cock Throbbin was at the first stop at the climbing gym, and Shallow Hole (and Poon Doggie) were at the bridge into Arena Gulch.  FRB’s were sent to the log in Arena Gulch where they were greeted by Dung Fu Grip in a wizard costume with a bottle of Jager Meister.  Walkers were sent to Cock Throbbin’s wine check near Aldo’s.  The FRB’s had an additional stop with Ho to Housewife at X864whale1 dock in the harbor before proceeding to wine check.  Everybody went to the whale at the Natural History Museum where the wizard made a second appearance.  Beer check was at the end of East Cliff at the overlook.

Religion was on Seabright Beech. Dung Fu Grip was RA.  Grassy Ass from San Diego was welcomed to the hash.  Backsliders My Fucking Precious and Just Gabriella were 864beercheckchastised for their long absence.   Wicked 864haresRetahted was called up for donating a bottle of tequila to the hash.  And last but not least, the Hares…………..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday 7/22/16: The Pub Crawl # 865

865jortsHares Just Foot Pussy and Finger Nips brought the pack out for an evening of hitting up Santa Cruz’s (un)finest drinking establishments. The theme of the evening was the to get out your cut off jorts (jean shorts), great clam digging attire. The pack met at Callahan’s where you could find hashers comparing jort costumes. The hares hosted the pack with pitchers of beer, which you needed to tell a joke to Princess, Paki 865packand someone else to get your pour. I told the joke “what do you call a red-headed ninja? A ginga!” Others refused to tell a joke (Shallow Hole) and said “just give me my fucking beer”. The pack left Callahan’s, next stop was The Jury Room. When we first walked in, Shallow thought the hares had bought a fog machine and set it up for the evening, but alas…. It was cigarette smoke. After this determination, several hashers decided to walk to the next smoke-filled 865PCLbar, The Rush Inn. Luckily, we are a little more welcome there and they prop the doors open so the smoke can make a getaway before filling our lungs. The hares hosted pitchers for us at The Rush, thanks guys! Before departing, Arabian Goggler lead us in the song “Today is Monday”, which of the muggle patrons enjoyed and started to sing along. We departed The Rush and took a roundabout way to the upstairs of the Catalyst, where there were comfy couches to sink into. Myself and Shallow decided this was time to on-out because it was midnight and we were going to turn into pumpkins soon. No one wants to see that! We heard that from there the remaining hashers went to The Blue Lagoon but were quickly annoyed with terrible music and soon departed for the night.
Hash # 866- July 23, 2016

866dogThis year, our Saturday picnic was held at the Friendship Garden at Harvey West Park. We had a large area with picnic tables, big BBQ and most importantly shade!  Dbased and New Kids on my Cock were the Hares.  Trail was about 2.5 miles and immediately went up into Pogonip.  We went all the way up the stairs to Meadow Road, where the FRB’s found a liquor check and a false.  Which should’ve been marked as a YBF.  We came back down the hill and found trail again.  It was the hottest part of the day and we opted for the turkey trail.  The 866packeagles had some bush whacking and tons of poison oak.  Ho and I snared the Hares several times, but of course they did not admit to being snared.   At first I thought Ho said she saw a bunny on trail.  But it was New Kids hiding in a bush. New Kids is pretty fucking tall and was still visible behind the 5 foot tall shrubbery.   We also ran into dBASED, who sent us off in the wrong direction off a check and ended up finding a false at the bottom of a big hill.  Assholes!   We saw New Kids again when we came back up the big hill, thankfully holding a bottle of Jameson! The beer check was just at the bottom of a meadow at a parking lot of the County Educational Building off Encinal Street.   Dung Fu Grip was talking on the phone with Cock Throbbin directing her to beer check, when he got bit by Fucked Over Fest’s dog Ziggy.  Luckily there was no blood and his arm did not have to be amputated.

866foodThere was plenty of food (including clams) at the BBQ. After feasting, we had Religion.  Dung Fu was RA.  Dog Breath was Beer Fairy.  Banana Basher got the first drink for being the founder of the Hash.  Virgin Madison’s Aunt Sniff My Butt made her cum.  Dog breath cock blocked her flash.  Just Foot Pussy threw beer at him, which was well deserved.  Visitors, Grassy Ass, Something Blew, Dual Tools Up My Ass, The Arabian Goggler,  Spreads in the Sheets and Just Matt were welcomed to the hash.  dBASED celebrated his 100th Haring and 700th Surf City Hash and was awarded with his own personalized mug!  Get a life!  It was right about that time when we spotted some strung out hippy dud pulling out weeds and866GASSR dancing with them on the bocci court in the distance.  Then we looked in the other direction and saw some other drugged out homeless dude making out with a tree then rolling around in the grass.  It was quite a show!  Ho to Housewife, Dual Tools Up My Ass and Shallow Hole got a down down for snaring the Hares.  Fucked Over Fest drank for his dog who bit Dung Fu Grip.  Twisted Fister (Hare for the walker trail) drank for abandoning the walkers and going back to camp to start cooking.  We can forgive him for that.  He got another down down for getting not one, but two personalized plates for his cars.  If you see an On On plate with a flying cock in the middle, that would be him.  The flying cock was not issued by the DMV.  It was a gift from Thmp-Thmp.  The Watermelon Head award was a fierce completion this year.   In the end, the most deserving candidate was Taco Tramp.  After all, there was that incriminating naked group photo posted on the Facebook event page.  The GM’s got recognized for all their hard work putting the event together.  And last but not least, the Hares.  Afterwards, we played some pretty fun drunken games!  There was the beer bra pouring game, balloon butt bumping game and the dizzy bat race.  All of which, should be Hash Olympic sports!
Sunday 7/24/16: Blood Mary Breakfast & The Hangover Hash # 867

867haresOn our 4th day of the weekend, things started early (7:30AM!!!!!) for hashers. There was a blood mary pre-race breakfast of champions for those who dared at Pearl and Norm’s Mansion, a long time hash tradition. We are told PCL and Fap made some pretty strong bloody mary’s. We are also told Grassy Ass wanted some pretty short jorts so Cock Throbbin helped pin them up for him. What a nice lass! Attendees for the bloody mary’s were Dog Breath, PCL, Cock Throbbin, Dung Fu Grip, Something Blue, Grassy Ass and Arabian Goggler, Princess and Thmp-Thmp.  Once the racists left for their run, Princess went for a donut run. That’s something I could get behind!

Back in the day, the Monterey Bay Hash carried a giant condom throughout the race and867pack passed out condoms like giving candy kids at the Santa Parade. These days, a few hashers legitimately enter, while others prefer to bandit race with homemade, legit looking bibs. A new tradition is on the rise, Cum Fart Zone has been hosting a post-race pool party at her abode in Capitola. A few hashers were crazy enough to run back to the start, which shall be known as the Shallow Hole Challenge! I bet they beat the buses back, I have sat on those and they suck… and they take forever.

Hashers all regrouped in the afternoon at Pearl and Norm’s for the ball-busting Hangover Hash. Should we really call this a hangover hash if people are still drunk? Princess and Thmp-Thmp were our hares for this torturous, long-ass, flip flop walk to Ocean View park, which is about a mile round-trip. While we were at the park we were spoiled with Harvey Wall Bangers and Miller Hi Life. We are also pretty sure Taco Tramp was flashing the neighbors in the apartment building next door. Note to self: don’t hare through Oceanveiw Park anytime soon. We looked for balloons to decorate Banana’s porch with, but they were gone. I guess they learned a few years ago, to immediately take those things down. Back at Pearl and Norm’s we had some pizza and Mexican delivered for our hungry asses after that ball-buster of a trail.

Dung Fu was our RA for religion and Just Foot Pussy was our faithful beer fairy. First brought up were people who attended all 4 days, but since it was most of the group many didn’t go up and there are too many names to list. So suck it. dBased was given a down down for knocking off someone’s hat. We don’t know who, we are drunk by this time in writing the hash trash. Next up was people who only cum on Sundays, Six of Nine… who enjoyed the luxury of the chair Shallow Hole brought for herself… since she ran 16 miles that day, and stuff. Damnit Janet came as well as US Oh Oh Oh, Just Nick and My Little Bony. Next up for down-downs was the Wharf to wharf runners; TIMMY!!!!, Dung Fu, Shallow Hole, dBASED and Grassy Ass. Taco Tramp lost the watermelon head (intentionally????) and broke TIMMY’s walker so was made to sit on the block of ice for her crimes. PCL brought extra ice just for this reason. Cum Fart Zone nominated herself, for something we don’t know, or pretend to understand… but showed her tits and sat spread naked on the ice. Some things cannot be unseen. Next up were people who ran with the now defunked Monterey Bay hash; dBASED, Puff the Magic Drag Queen, Six of Nine, Hang’s Loose, Dog Breath and Pearl. Just Foot Pussy was given a down-down for convincing Paki to drink some beer, he is ruined forever with this peer pressure. Cums out my nose was given a down-down for playing Pokemon Go on trail. Are you for fucking real?!?!? Princess was given a down down for asking for bad jokes the night of the Pub867perl Crawl. We also celebrated Poon Doggy’s 8th birthday, his first memory in life is being picked up by Hang’s Loose in Sacramento and immediately attending a hash. What a lucky dog! Bacon Queef was given a down down for putting her hash tattoo on backwards, where it read no-no. Just Foot Pussy went down on her to try to put a new one on and Damnit Janet followed suit. JFP put a correctly oriented on-on tattoo on his penis! Pearl was brought up to thank him for hosting yet another year. The 7:30am crowd arrived prior to Pearl’s awakening and made so much noise he had to come out onto the balcony in his robe (on not?) to greet this riled up bunch. We made an honorary toast to wonderful Norm before bringing up the hares.

Here’s to another great weekend! Kegs kicked, limited blood, no hospital, no police, all good! Thanks to our GMs PCL and Fap for such a wonderful weekend!

On On,

Ho to Housewife and Shallow Hole

P.S.  This hash trash was made possible by 2 bottles of wine.  We don’t care!!!!

wine

 

Hash # 861- Beat Your Meat on June 30, 2016

SCH3 Trash

This year’s Beat Your Meat was held at Drill Me’s house in Scotts Valley.

861viewSomehow dBASED talked his dentist into hosting the event.  I’m sure it’s a decision that she surely regrets by now.  Drill Me used to hash with Monterey Bay, and hasn’t hashed in the 15 years since Surf City H3 has been in existence.  dBASED said she put a lot of work into clearing trails on her property for the event.  She has a gorgeous property with friendly horses off of 861horsesVine Hill.  The event was a huge success!  We raised over $800 bucks for Second Harvest Food Bank!  Yay!  We really are a legitimate nonprofit organization and not a bunch of drunks who don’t care!

dBASED and Drill Me were the hares. The 861haresEagle trail was less than 2 miles on my GPS.  And it was all up hill.  My calves were burning like hell.  Damn you hares!  There was a decomposed skunk carcass on trail, but we did not encounter any live animals.861trail

The potluck was awesome and Accuprick and Butt Balls cooked up all the meat and meat alternatives. Instead of their fancy gas grills, they managed to cook everything on 2 small charcoal grills.  The food took a little longer to cook so hashers mingled around the grills salivating, and patiently waiting for their meat to cook.  Dog Breath was caught trying to steal Timmy’s steak, but gave it back (with a few bites missing).   He’s a typical dog that steals food from little kids and handicapped people.

861beercheckAccuprick was RA and Pink Cherry Licker was Beer Fairy. Visitors- Arabian Goggler, Piss Pyle, BMX, Just Matt, Spreads in the Sheets, Gay for Pay, eh?, Tipper in the Slipper were welcomed to the hash with a down down.  Waxi Pad and Snapping Twat drank for being backsliders.  Hugh Heifer and Cumfart Zone drank for somehow getting lost on the turkey trail.  Stoners!  They did manage to find their way back and hit the beer check.  Pink Cherry Licker also got lost.   She apparently texted she couldn’t find beer check.  It was just up the road from the house on the same street. Princess Di (arrhea) and Occasional Rapist couldn’t handle the difficult trail, so they turned back.  Extra money was raised by Tits and Game and Cumfart Zone for bouncing on the trampoline topless.  Virgin Matt flashed front and back.  Tits and Game made him cum!  Yellow Prick Load celebrated his 25th Surf City hash!  It took years, but he made it!  Accuprick said he was the bastard who named him in Silicone Valley.  He got his name because he liked to wear yellow, was skinny and looked like a banana.  He even has his own song called “Swallow the yellow prick load”!  Fap jack took off early, but then got blamed for not doing a good job of getting the grills started  for Butt Balls when he went to the beer check.   Goggler was his stunt drinker.  Dog Breath was punished for stealing Timmy’s steak.  Jizziki got the award for the best meat.  It was marinated in his “special sauce”.  I had some and it was really good.  So tender it melted in your mouth.   And last but not least, the Hares……………….861haresreligion

On On,

Shallow Hole

 

 

Hash Trash # 862 on 7/7/16

SCH3 Trash
862towerTrash 862
Our scribes have taken to fleeing the country as of late, so you’re stuck with another Dung-Fu Hash Recycling (trash is gross.) Much like my previous one, we started off the side of a road near an entrance to one of our county’s finest natural preserves. Unlike the Can’d invasion however, we have only ourselves to blame for this one.
Pack was a ragtag bunch of regulars, backsliders, old timers, and a virgin, and we milled about the parking lot discussing charms, tie dye, and buying tequila from children. One of the turn-ins to the parking area was a fairly treacherous drop into a dusty ravine, and Shallow Hole decided to take her hybrid off-roading with predictable – albeit not entirely disastrous – results. Virgin Bradley was given chalk talk, which was immediately pissed upon by Vaginal Repair Kit’s tiny and adorable dog. A few locals took a look at us and split, leaving us ample room to circle up and get the show on the road, which we did.
Trail went about twenty meters and split. Turkey and Eagle were supposed to be about the same length with Eagle having more shiggy. And glorious shiggy it was!
We scampered through the woods, galloped down a few switch backs, hoped over a stream (or crossed a fallen tree,) climbed up some stairs clearly intended for giants or bigfoots (bigfeet?) and then ran down a long sandy patch until the trails rejoined. I hear Turkeys walked along the fire road.
It also bears mentioning, that everywhere on this trail was poop. So much poop. I’ve worked in stables with less horse poop. I once spent three entire days fertilizing an orchard with horse poop, and I was still impressed with the amount of poop of trail.
Anyway, we all rejoined at this check that caused momentary confusion, and then dBased called On-On a little back from the check and we were on-up the hill. Up and up we went through trees and shrubs and flowers, until we stumbled out to an observation deck, where our hares had packed in booze for a beautifully scenic beer check.
Those interested in the sights were also able to borrow a pair of binoculars provided by the hares to creep on some nature, or if you climbed up this little antennae on the deck, the boardwalk. While the Turkeys continued to filter in, Thmp-Thmp lugged further libations to the thirsty crowd. I should really say something snarky here, but the view was excellent, the beer delicious, and with beer check in the middle of the woods, the r*cists had the opportunity to get some extra miles.
Sort of.
There was this strange vote thing about whether or not trail should continue, and the vote against trail seemed to win even through less people voted for it, but then the hares took off anyway, and after a little time the r*nners took off after them, immediately snaring them, but then continuing on anyway. I dunno. It was fun and pretty, that’s all that matters.
Religion was in the this little clearing down from the start, and as I was RA-ing, I leave the recollection of down-downs to Puff. We seem to have had: Vaginal Repair Kit, Taco Tramp, and Fucked-Over Fest with tech on trail; Shallow for testing the suspension of her car; Hugh, noticing that no once else had fallen in the stream, took one for the team; Virgin Brady flashed us; Just Shay misread “on-on” as “onion;” and last but not least, the hares of Princess and Thmp were thanked for their excellent trail. And by that, I mean roundly cursed.862hares1
On-on-on was at Santa Cruz Diner, where only Timmy and Puff showed.
And with that, the hash went in peace, and some got a piece.

Hash Trash # 859 on 6/16/16

SCH3 Trash

859barHo to Housewife and Occasional Rapist’s Beerthday Aloha Hash

It’s Gemini season, and all the coolest hashers are celebrating birthdays! Ho to Housewife and Occasional Rapist brought the pack back to Pleasure Point to the Corner Pocket for a Hawaiian themed hash.  Personally I’ve never been in that bar before.  There was the smell of cigarettes, but nothing shadier than the other dive bars in Santa Cruz.  The news was reporting some kind of shooting and police activity in the area, but luckily we did not see anything of the sort.859hares

I got 4.69 miles on the Eagle trail. We went left on Portola, right on 24th with a little zig zagging to 17 th Avenue.  Not sure where the Eagle trail started, but dBASED had plenty of time to write “Pre Lay” next to almost every mark.  There are no rules in the hash, remember?  dBASED is one of the main reasons that Hares pre-lay anyway.  He’s the only hasher who purposely goes out on trail with the intention of catching the Hares.  I guess if you hash for that many years in the same area it gets pretty boring and you need to find ways to amuse yourself.   Trail went through Shoreline Middle School and Simkins Swim Center parking lots to the little dirt trails.  There was a crappy section of railroad tracks complete with broken glass and a bum.  Before exiting the tracks onto 7th Avenue, there was a big pile of white stuff that resembled flour. It looked like the Pillsbury Dough Boy got murdered there.  There was a loop around the harbor and Cock Throbbin and I got to listen to a little bit of music from the Crows Nest Beach Party.  Trail 859beercheckalong the ocean, along East Cliff Drive.  That hill is one of my least favorite spots along the Wharf to Wharf r*ce course.  There was a little zig zagging around to Sunny Cove beach.  Fap Jack was guarding the liquor check, yummy Pina Coladas on the steps down to the beach.  We crossed the beach and went up to the road again.  We ended up back on East Cliff and through some Catholic silent retreat convent run by nuns.  And they say Nuns have to take an oath of poverty!  I wouldn’t mind living in an ocean front convent.  I don’t think I would like the silent part though.  Beer check was on 20th at the end of the road.  Someone saw Puff almost running by and directed him to beer check.  My guess is the DFL drank the rest of the liquor check and then stumbled the rest of the way.

859foodReligion was at Wicked Retahted’s house. The pack was greeted with a bonfire and Island music.  The Hares cooked up a big Hawaiian feast and it was awesome!  Accuprick was RA and Just Shay was beer Fairy.  My Little Bony drank for not remembering a song (he did the Wanker trail).  Project Cumway and Just Foot Pussy drank for being backsliders.  Wicked was serenaded with the retard song.  A bunch of wankers (Wicked, Just Walter, Fingernips,859naming Cumfart Zone, My Little Bony, Rod Lover and Just Shay, etc) drank for not making the liquor check.   Puff drank for almost missing beer check.  Rod Lover celebrated his 150th and Pink Cherry Licker celebrated her 175th Surf city hash!  Get a life!  There was a naming!  It was Just Emily’s 5th hash.  There was plenty of material to work with.  It was a close call between “Taco Tramp” and “Shut the Fuck Up!”.  Taco Tramp won out.  She thinks Taco Bell is “sex food”.  Welcome to the hash!  Virgin Dee told a lame joke.  Taco Tramp made her cum.  And last but not least, the Birthday Hares………..

859haresreligion

 

Happy Birthday, Fuck You!

On On,

Shallow Hole

Hash Trash # 858 on 6/9/16

SCH3 Trash

New Kids On My Cock and Fap Jack lured the pack to Callahan’s this week with promises858hare of shitty 3+ mile Turkey, 6+ mile Eagle trails and a keg.   They got the shitty trail right.  Trail started out the back door of the bar, down May Street.  The first check was a particularly tricky one on the corner of Hubbard and Market.  The FRB’s were treated to running up the big hill on Berkeley Way to find a false trail.  Then to another false trail along the Branciforte Creek trail.  I started out running with my BFF (big furry friend) Poon Doggie, but was soon rejected.  When he saw his Daddy on trail, he stopped in the middle of the path and told me in dog language that he preferred to go with him.  I think I need to start bringing him treats.  True trail went straight on 858packMarket, to Curtis, around that neighborhood, through a little dirt trail in back of an apartment complex.  There was a LC that was written upside down, so it took a few half minds to figure out what it was.  We got a bottle of fireball.  Yay!  Trail continued through a new housing development of cookie cutter homes 5 feet away from each858LC other, back out to Market Street towards Branciforte Drive.  The Eagles headed up the big dirt hill into Delaveaga Park.  I was with dBASED at this point.  The FRB’s, Dung Fu Grip, Fucked Over Fest and Achy Breaky Snatch were up ahead of us.   After we got to the top of the hill, the trail cut off to the right on a single track trail.  There was another liquor check, but we couldn’t find it.  There was poison oak and picker bushes everywhere so we didn’t search that hard.   I’m sure it wasn’t worth it anyway.  We followed trail up through the golf course, down Upper Park Road, and left on Delaveaga Park Drive.  At the end of the road, we ran into one of the Hares.  New Kids made it clear that he was done with trail and we didn’t snare him.  He was out there at the end of the road laying a back check.  So we played the back check game, turned around and found trail again on Elk Street.  Beer Check was a Pinky and Fap’s place on Rooney Street.  I got only 3.44 miles, but Dung Fu also ran Eagle and got > 6 miles.  Somehow we missed part of trail.

858RA'sReligion was in the back room at Callahan’s and was pretty much a shit show. The keg didn’t last very long, but lack of alcohol  didn’t keep hashers from getting loud and obnoxious.  There was a futon, so Pinky, Achy Breaky Snatch and I got to put our feet up, relax and enjoy the drunken escapade.  I tried NOT to think about what cooties were on the futon or what nastiness has gone on there in the past.  I took a shower as soon as I got home.  Dung Fu grip and Accuprick 858religionwere Co-RA’s for the evening.  Just Emily, Just Shay and Just Mars sang “the pants song”.  Not sure if they made it up or if it was an actual song.  There was a long an boisterous version of Alouette with Cumfart Zone acting out the parts.  Virgin Clarity bailed so Just Emily did her stunt down down.  Steamy Baanorrhea and New Kids drank for blood on trail.  The local flower lady came in the bar and interrupted Religion.  She wasn’t going away, so the festivities stopped while a few hashers bought flowers from her.  There was a long version of Chicago.  Bareback Unicrack drank for not doing trail, and Courtesy Flush drank for 858haresarriving late and trying to find trail on his bike.  And the Hares…………..

On On,

Shallow Hole

Hash Trash #854 on 5/12/16: The Pussy Hash

SCH3 Trash, Uncategorized

854barRat Pussy, Just Foot Pussy and Pussy Wood summoned the pack to Beer 30 for the First Anal Pussy Hash. A funny thing happened.  A bunch of dogs showed up!  In fact, we had a record 7 dogs this week!  Poon Doggie, Butters, Toilet Baby, Porter, Ziggy (Fucked Over Fest’s dog), Maui (Ho’s Parent’s dog), and Vaginal Repair Kit’s dog.  There was definitely “pussy” in the air, because Poon Doggie was interested in something other than trail.

854dogsThe Eagle trail was 5+ miles, depending on who you ask. Trail headed left down Main Street, right on Porter, left on West Walnut, right on Robertson to a “fish hook” mark that required 3 FRB’s to turn around and give a “treat” to the DFL’s.  .  I happened to be the third FRB.  Poon Doggie was not happy about this and refused to move.  In dog language, he said “fuck you!  I’m not sharing my booze with the DFL’s”.  After 854cheweysome negotiating, I eventually  got him to turn around.  I immediately regretted my decision after tasting the shitty alcohol provided by the Hares.  Poon Doggie then took off like a bat out of hell and tried to catch up with the rest of the pack on Soquel Drive.  My quads are still screaming.  We took a left on Porter, and right across the little pedestrian bridge.  Puff thought about jumping off the bridge, but was convinced to proceed on to liquor check (some kind of zombie juice).  Trail then lead us back towards the bar, but up a little shiggy trail into the neighborhood of Wilder Drive.  We turned right on Capitola Ave and went through the trailer park.  This was the same place where they called the cops on Bacon Queef, probably around a year ago.  After a jaunt through some Capitola neighborhoods, we found ourselves at a Pussy check/Tuck check?  This was a new one.  Yada, Yada, Yada, we did a loop around Capitola Village.  I saw the infamous handicapped cop in a wheelchair patrolling around checking the parking meters.   We went up the hill on Cliff Drive for a tour around the Jewel Box and Fucked Over Fest’s old hood from his bachelor days.  There were a record number of checks.  Every third mark was a God damn check.  The dogs were getting thirsty.  It took forever to get to beer check in Perry Park.

Religion was in office complex off of Bay. Pink Cherry Licker was RA (by default).   Courtesy Flush bought a big box of ice cream sandwiches at Nob Hill (Not a burrito!  Shocking, right?).  The GM’s somehow lost the down down cups.  Hashers who brought dogs were called up for the first down down.  Moose Turd Pie drank for visiting with his Mom on trail.  Some kid called the Hares pussies for not using spray paint to mark trail.  Hangs Loose has been hashing for longer than some of the newbies have been alive, but was called out for yelling “on 3” instead of “on on”.  I was called out because I told Genital Tongs to pull down her skirt.  Her kilt rode up and her undies were showing.  There were a few Analversaries:  Pink Cherry Licker 169, Yours Truly for 225, and Broke Bench Mountain for 250 SCH3 Hashes!  Get a life!  Ho to Housewife drank for flashing her tits over the freeway overpass bridge, We had a Virgin- Virgin Marie.  Bareback Unicrack ade her cum.  She told a lame joke.  A bunch of hashers drank for not attending Red Dress last week.  And last but not least, the Hares…………………….854hares

On On,

Shallow Hole