Hash #780 started out innocently enough at Discretion Brewery on 41 st.  Ho to Housewife and Dog Breath were the Hares this week.  Waxi Pad made a rare appearance at the hash because he works down the street from the bar.  We had  visitors this week, K9 Snowball, Just Daniel and their dog were visiting from Charleston, South Carolina.  They said they were moving to San Francisco.  Boy did they pick the wrong week to visit!

They say a picture is worth 1000 words.  What does this picture tell you about this week’s trail?  Check out the look on their faces!  I see fear of being lynched!   Dog Breath is thinking he’s going to be put on hare probation again.  Ho to Housewife is thinking she’s definitely getting voted worst trail of the year.  Waxi Pad, Flip Flops on the Rocks and Wicked Retahted bailed on trail and went and got dinner instead.  They turned out to be the smart ones!  Go figure!  My GPS measured trail at 6.39 miles.  The pack was promised a Turkey/Eagle split, but that was just a bunch of BS.  Shitty is kind description of this trail.  The Hares trespassed on private property and pissed off some residents near the Oil Can Henry’s on Soquel and Rodeo Gulch Road.  Trail lead into a shiggy area under a bridge.  When the FRB’s got to the area, there was a crazy lady under the bridge screaming at us and waving a gun.  When I crossed the bridge, she screamed at me to stay off her property or she was going to blow my head off.  At first I thought it was just another Santa Cruz loony blowing smoke.  But when I looked down at her and my headlamp lit the area, she really was waving a gun.  Thmp-Thmp and dBASED were the only ones that went down there and managed to escape unharmed.  The FRB’s waited for the rest of the pack and made sure no one went down there.  We decided to go up North Rodeo Gulch Road and look for where the trail came out of the woods.  We found flour and continued on trail.  If that wasn’t enough, the Hares lead the pack back into the woods.  The Hares made their own trail through the woods.  There was a shit load of poison oak!  We finally got through the shiggy and exited on Benson St, and headed toward Thurber.  There was a liquor check on Thurber in the woods.  Trail continued on Thurber down to Soquel, crossed Soquel and we found ourselves in front of Moe’s Alley.  When Princess Di (arrhea) and Occasional Rapist got to Moe’s, they said fuck this shit and went into the bar, got a drink and a cab ride back to the start.  Brilliant!  Trail went on, and on, and on.  We crossed the freeway, and ended up by Holy Cross Cemetery on 7th.  The remainder of the trail was a long haul down Capitola Road to the Capitola Mall, down 41st to the beer check at the Capitola Sports Bar across from the mall.  The only hashers that made it to beer check were Yours Truly, Thmp-Thmp, TIMMY!!!, Just Frank, Just Daniel and the dog.  The rest of the pack gave up on trail and went to religion in the Home Depot parking lot.  No one wanted to come to beer check, so Waxi Pad picked us up and drove us to religion.

Accuprick was RA, and Electric Labia Land was Beer Fairy.  Flip Flops on the Rocks and Wicked Retahted drank for going to the Chinese restaurant instead of trail.  A bunch of hashers (Occasional Rapist, Cumcerto, Hooker on Kronix Bitch, Electric Labia Land, Pink Cherry Licker, Just Nate, Wicked Retahted) were punished for not having whistles.  Accuprick had blood on trail.  Not sure what happened there.  Thmp-Thmp and dBASED gave their account of the crazy lady with a gun near death experience.  Visitors K9 Snowball and Just Daniel were welcomed to the hash.  A bunch of hashers (Occasional Rapist, Princess Di (arrhea), Shallow Hole, Just Frank, TIMMY!!!, Just Daniel and Thmp-Thmp) drank for auto hashing.  I drank again in celebration of my 169th hash!  Get a life!  We had a naming!  It was Just Frank’s 5th hash.  He is known for wearing short shorts, being a nudist, and doing physics.   So he got named Sharktickle Physics!  And last but not least, the Hares…………

But Seriously, folks.  We’re a drinking club with a running problem.  I am a known racist and don’t care how long the trails are.  But on Thursday night we don’t need to be out running at midnight.  In my opinion, trails longer than 3 miles should have a Turkey/Eagle split.  A large contingent of the pack are walkers and everybody should have a good time.  Also, lately I’ve had some interactions with neighbors who come out of their houses to see what all the screaming, whistles and commotion is all about.  So keep it cool and don’t piss anyone off.  We don’t want to draw any negative attention to ourselves and have the cops called on us.

On On,

Shallow Hole

Yes Wankers, this week’s hash was on Friday night instead of Thursday due to Christmas.  A sizable pack showed up at the Nasty Asti downtown for the Second Anal Krampus Hash.  This theme was introduced to Surf City last year by Dung Fu Grip.  This year Dung Fu coerced Pink Cherry Licker to be his devil in crime co-hare.

If you’re wondering “who the hell is this Krampus dude”, check out his website at www.krampus.com .  Basically he’s the Christmas devil, or Santa’s evil counterpart.   If you’re not on Santa’s “Nice List”, Krampus will punish all the naughty children, swatting them with switches and rusty chains before dragging them, in baskets, to hell.   So you’d better watch out!  In Austria, Northern Italy and other parts of Europe, people dress up as devils, wild-men, and witches to participate in Krampuslauf (Krampus Run).  Intoxicated and bearing torches, costumed devils run through the streets scaring people.   So in full Krampus style, hashers showed up with horns on their heads, ready to raise hell in Santa Cruz!

There were 2 trails.  I measured the Eagle at 4.7 miles.  Occasional Rapist’s trail map was 3.96 miles.  Everybody started out going down the river levee, up the stairs to Beach Hill.  There was a Southern Comfort liquor check stop.  Trail headed down hill toward the boardwalk.   Luckily this trail didn’t go on the sand.  Instead, trail lead the pack towards West Cliff.  There was a check in front of the West Cliff Inn.  Instead of going up the hill, trail went right, across the bridge and onto Center Street.   There was a little tour of Santa Cruz High School, before going up Walnut and across Mission Street.   The turkey eagle split was on King Street.  Turkeys went towards the pedestrian bridge across Mission Street to Holy Cross Church.  The eagles went up Laurent Street, up a big hill.  We were rewarded with some liquor on the hill though.  Some peppermint schnapps.  Trail continued on Laurent to King and then over the Pedestrian bridge by Holy Cross Church.

There was a crazy schizophrenic lady in front of Holy Cross Church.  Perhaps she was hanging out in front of the church hoping for an exorcism by the priest.  Lord knows she had some nasty demons plaguing her.  Several hashers had interactions with her.  Some hashers thought she was on the phone, but she was talking to herself.  Dung Fu told an interesting tale of how she hugged him and told him how much she loved rabbits.  Then she asked him to help her perform CPR to revive her “imaginary friend.”  We may never know the fate of her imaginary friend.  Trail went down the steps, passed the clock tower and lead to beer check at Red (the high class upstairs bar).  The Hares treated the pack to pitchers of beer and appetizers.  I tried the rosemary and fennel French fries.  They rocked!  Hope Fap Jack’s reputation isn’t tarnished after hashers invaded the bar!

Religion was up on top of Oswald’s parking garage.  It was pretty cold and windy up there.  Fuck this winter shit!  Accuprick was RA and Fingernips was beer Fairy.  Dung Fu Grip passed out gifts.  We all got flash drives with hash songs and porn on them.  Paki Sak got a down down for hiding out in TIMMY!!!’s truck to stay warm.  Dung Fu Grip told his tale from the trail about the crazy lady.  We were happy to know that the imaginary friend survived and Dung Fu took him/her on trail.  Dog Breath drank for the imaginary friend.  Visitors, Today is Monday, Paki Sak, Popo Strip Show and Ska Skank Redemption were welcomed to the hash.  Herpie Hand Cock drank for being a backslider.  Dog Breath drank for showing up late.  Ho to Housewife drank for getting lost at a school 2 weeks in a row, and got caught at the YBF.  Puff the Magic Drag Queen was following her butt, so he drank too.  And last but not least, the Hares…………………………………….

See you Thursday night, where we will be ringing in the New Year with Occasional rapist and dBASED in La Selva Beach.   Start location is Cliffside at La Selva .  Park across the street from 342 Vista Road, La Selva Beach, CA 95076

On On,

Shallow Hole

This week’s hash started at the Crepe Place.  Thmp-Thmp and Twisted Fister were the hares this week.  The rain had finally stopped and it was a nice night for a hash.  I was driving to the bar, and was stopped at a light on Soquel Ave.  I saw this guy strutting down the street in a white skin tight long sleeve running shirt and very short, shorts.  He went into the Crepe Place.  I thought to myself “WTF?  Is that guy a hasher?”  When I arrived at the bar, I realized it was Just Frank.   I hoped the trail would be short for his sake because he was at risk of some serious nipple chaffing!  My Little Bony made a rare appearance.  He stopped by the bar on his way to work.  I got nervous when I saw TIMMY!!! walking around with a full martini glass.  He did not have his TIMMY!!! Tippy Cup and doesn’t have a good track record with delicate stemware.  I heard a crash from behind the bar, but it was a false alarm.  The bartender broke something, not TIMMY!!!.

Trail started out by jaywalking across Soquel Avenue to the alley across the street.  The pack was trying to solve a check when these 2 guys came out of their house.  At first I thought they were going to hassle us for yelling outside their house.  Instead they said they were from Uncommon Brewers and offered us a beer tasting of their Bacon Brown Ale!  How cool is that?  Sorry vegetarians, but it was pretty tasty.   I think they deserve a shameless butt plug for that.  Check them out at:  www.uncommonbrewers.com.  The check was solved and the pack headed to N. Branciforte Ave.  There was another check and dBASED yelled on on, so we went across Soquel Ave.  We ran around that neighborhood for a while, until we got to a liquor check in a little park on Fairmount.  After that, trail lead back down to Soquel Ave.  We were near a car dealership, Jiffy Lube and Walgreens.  Then things went to shit.  There was a check on Soquel  Ave that no one was able to solve.  dBASED found a false trail in one direction, but no flour was found anywhere else.  dBASED, Dung Fu Grip and I ran around searching in every direction possible, looked in parking lots, went several blocks on both sides of the street, but couldn’t find flour.  Most of the pack gave up and went back to Casa di Puff and Dung Fu.  Dung Fu and I kept searching, so we headed down to Arena Gulch.  No flour to be found.  We thought beer check might be in Fredrick Street Park, so we went through the gulch, through the harbor and up the stairs to Fredrick St Park.  Going through the harbor was cool.  A bunch of boats were lit up with Christmas lights.  When no beer check was found, we ran to religion.   Apparently the only hashers who made it to beer check were the walkers accompanying Princess Di (arrhea).  They got tipped off where beer check was.

Religion was at Casa di Puff and Dung Fu.  The Hares showed up dragging their cooler in defeat.  We’re a bunch of Halfminds. Don’t make trail too difficult or we’re going to get lost.   Dung Fu was RA and appointed Just Frank as Beer Fairy.  First down down was for the hashers who made it to beer check.  Princess Di (arrhea), Fap Jack, Pink Cherry Licker, and Hooker on Kronix, Bitch!  Fap Jack spilled his first beer, so he got a second down down for insurance.  TIMMY!!! was called up for not bringing hash dinner again!  Some of us had a long trail (6.4 miles to be exact) and were starving.  We knew we couldn’t raid Puff’s refrigerator.  Not much in there.  I checked.   Hugh Heifer offered to “train” the new Beer Meister, but he didn’t think it was necessary.  He gave some lame excuse how chips weren’t healthy.  LOL.  Don’t forget the chips!  We’re counting on you!  Hooker on Kronix, Bitch!  was called up for doing a Sanford & Son impression.  Who even remembers that show?  Fingernips presented Dung Fu with a gift.  A Detroit Motown Hash hat.  Dung Fu said it was his second mother hash and was pretty psyched.  Wicked Retahted, Banana Basher and Accuprick drank for not doing trail.   They went to the Double O to watch hockey.  Twisted Fister celebrated his 75^th Hash Analversary.  Get a life!  Backsliders Six of Nine, Fingernips and Princess Di(arrhea) drank.  And last but not least, the Hares………………………….

This week’s hash on Thursday December 11^th will be our Anal Toys for Tots Hash!  The start location will be at JJ’s Bar, 4714 Soquel Drive in Soquel Village.  Hares will be Summer’s Yeast and Stub Rub.  Bring one or more unwrapped toys.   Even if you’re a Scrooge and don’t like kids or Christmas, or if you don’t want to do trail, stop by and drop off a donation anyway.  It won’t kill you to do something nice.  There are a lot of needy kids in our community who could use a little Christmas cheer.  It’s not their fault they’re poor.  Right?  Like Banana Basher said, Surf City does these charity events as a cover, so the community thinks we’re a “legit” running club, and not just a bunch of degenerate drunks.  So let’s keep up appearances and donate a lot of toys this year!

On On,

Shallow Hole

Happy New Year Wankers!  Goodbye to year 13 and hello to the 14^th year of Surf City H3!  The festivities were held at El Palomar.  They put us degenerates in a small room off to the side so we wouldn’t bother anyone.

Oh the mammories. ………   Year 13 was a great year!  Wasn’t it?  Thanks to all of Mismanagement and especially to our GM Royal Couple Princess Di(arrhea) and Thmp-Thmp for all their hard work.  Dealing with a bunch of drunken hashers is like herding cats.  Thmp-Thmp successfully intervened on our behalf and asked cops and security guards (nicely) not to bust us.  Remember the anthrax scare up at UCSC?  In case you were too inebriated to remember, the beer was flowing, the trails were shitty, and we added a bunch of new Wankers to the kennel.   dBASED and Dung Fu Grip tried to “out shiggy” each other with their trails.  We toured multiple tunnels, drainage ditches, streams, homeless encampments, and other precarious places.  We had some interesting themed hashes this year.  Aside from the usual Halloweenie Costume Hash, Toys for Tots and Pirate Hash, we had a first ever Krampus Hash, Big Lebowski Hash, Bike Hash, and a Dressed to the (sixty) 9’s Hash.   Surf City H3 put on some great events this year.  The Red Dress Run and Wharf to Barf were fucking awesome!  Sloshed Ball returned after 5 year hiatus.  We beat the crap out of Team Simon G String (again)!   Fuck Ya!  Even with the athletic young studs they recruited for their team!   Surf City Hashers took the party on the road and attended numerous events this year, such as North South Intercourse, Betty Ford, Bay to Blackout, and Red Dress Runs in Monterey, Silicone Valley, San Francisco, San Diego, SLO and Las Vegas!  We lost the hippy several times, but found her again.  Next time we’re using a leash.

The evening started out with trail # 770.  Princess Di(arrhea) and Thmp-Thmp were Hares.  There was a trail?  What trail?  Yes, it was short.  It was less than 1 mile, and lead us to The Red Room for a liquor check.  Everybody got potent but tasty shots of some sort of hard liquor, before walking to Oswald’s parking garage for Religion.  Accuprick was RA, and Vince Lamblowme was Beer Fairy.  Dog Breath got a down down for being the whore of the hash.  What do you expect from a dog in heat?  Visitors, No film and Shady Curtains were welcomed to the hash.  Hooker on Kronix, Bitch drank for being a backslider.  Groucho Cocks complained trail wasn’t long enough.  Old timers, Banana Basher, dBASED, Puff the Magic Drag Queen, and Dog Breath drank for being at the first ever Surf City H3 AGM.  Next were analversaries.  Twat Did You Say? celebrated her 69^th , Broke Bench Mountain celebrated his 225^th and Hugh Heifer celebrated her 350^th Surf City hash!  Get a life!  And the Hares……………….

Hashers stumbled back to El Palomar for a face feed, more booze, and the erection results.  Ballot counting seemed to take forever.  Hashers started to get restless and started a tortilla chip food fight (that I may or may not have been part of).   Things got a little out of control when Broke bench Mountain started lighting chis on fire.  Who knew those things could burn?  Grandpa Banana Basher and senile citizen TIMMY!!! scolded the immature drunks for their behavior.

Next were the awards:

New hashers named this year were called up for a down down:  Groucho Cocks, Just Foot Pussy, Beer Queef, Electric Labia Land, Hooker on Kronix, Ho to Housewife, Cock throbbin’, Summers Yeast and Stub Rub

Hugh Heifer:  Retiring after 5 years of Beer Meister.  She was awarded a gift certificate from Tampico (but who knows whether she will be able to use it since she got kicked out of there during the Wharf to Barf pub crawl).

Year 13 GM’s and Mismanagement were acknowledged with a down down

Banana Basher was recognized as our hash Founder

Erection Results:

And the big wieners from the AGM erection and your Year 14 Mismanagement:

Scribes – Shallow Hole, Ho to Housewife and Cock Throbbin

RAs – AccuPrick and Dung-Fu Grip

Hare Raiser – Twisted Fister

Co-Haberdashers – FapJack and Pink Cherry Licker

Beer Meister – Timmy!!!

On-Sec – dBASED

Co-GMs – Thmp-Thmp and Princess Di(arrhea)

Best Trail Award:  Tie between 1)  Hugh Heifer, Occasional Rapist and Shallow Hole for the Red Dress Trail and 2) Dung Fu Grip and Shallow Hole for the UCSC Twin Gates trail.  Don’t worry Wankers, I won’t get a big head for being nominated twice.  I was also nominated for worst trail too.  Every Hare knows that even the best planned trail can go horribly wrong.  Just means I was involved in “memorable trails”.

The award for stupidest thing done on trail went to Bacon Queef for getting detained by the cops when laying her first trail.

Best Hash Trash:  Pink Cherry Licker’s Toys for Tots trash.  It was a brilliant parody of the Night Before Christmas.

Biggest Wanker- Wicked Retahted

Worst Trail- Phillis Driller

Bring on Year 14!  Looking forward to another year of shitty trails!  Sorry to see my former Co-Scribes, Occasional Rapist and Pink Cherry Licker move on.   But welcome new Co-Scribes, Cock Throbbin’ and Ho to Housewife!  I’m sure they will enjoy dishing out the trash as much as I do.

On On,

Shallow Hole

Dung Fu Grip and Fap Jack came up with an interesting theme for this week’s hash.  Instead of schwag beer and cheesy poofs, it was all champagne wishes and caviar dreams.  Instead of wearing the usual shorts and T-shirts, hashers were asked to dress up in formalwear and show up at the 515 Kitchen and Cocktails on Cedar Street.  There should’ve been a red carpet and fashion police!  Can you imagine Joan Rivers (God rest her soul) asking “Which Goodwill did you buy your dress at”?  I got mine at Savers.  I know why it ended up there.  The pink glitter was all over me by the end of the night and I left a glitter trail everywhere I went.  Everyone looked fabulous.  Harriettes showed up in evening gowns and cocktail dresses.  Even Hugh Heifer “aka the Hippy” looked lovely.  I’m assuming the coat was fake fur.  The guys did not disappoint either.  They may be drunks on bar stools most of the time, but proved they can clean up nice once in a while.  Dung Fu Grip and Fap Jack and courtesy Flush looked dapper in suits.  Even surfer hippie Wicked Retahted wore a suit!  Fucked Over Fest broke out a bright red pimp suit from high school.  Surprisingly, the outfit worked for him.  Now we know how he earned his college money.  TIMMY!!! and Twisted Fister made a half assed attempt at a suit and wore sport jackets with shorts.  Evidently a few people didn’t get the memo.   Dog Breath showed up in a nasty T-shirt and shorts.  Twat Did You Say? wore running clothes.  Broke bench Mountain wore a button down shirt and jeans.  Porter the dog didn’t have an outfit.  Puff showed up dressed like Puff.  Big shocker!  Who said OP’s were not formalwear?    We had one Virgin!  Wicked Retahted brought Virgin Eddie, who proved to be an interesting character.

Trail started with a little jaunt around downtown, then took the pack down Water Street, turned left on May Street, up to Emeiline Ave.  I heard a weird crunching noise behind me.  I turned around and there was Courtesy Flush eating chips as he was running.  He had time to stop at a taqueria and get a burrito.  There was a champagne check under a bridge under highway 1.  It was the very spot where Occasional Rapist got named.  Memories!  The flour continued down the Carbonera Creek trail, then along the Branciforte Creek trail.  Several FRB’s, Dog Breath, Courtesy Flush, Thmp-Thmp, Ho to Housewife and yours truly, got suckered into a nasty YBF up a big hill.  Those bastards!  There was a second champagne check shortly afterward and we forgot about it quickly.  Beer check was further down the creek trail.  dBASED claimed to “accidently” take a wrong turn on May Street and short cutted trail.  There was no caviar, but the Hares served up excellent bread and cheeses.

Religion was at the silver bullet (on top of the Oswald parking garage).  TIMMY!!! was RA and Broke Bench Mountain and his dog Porter were beer fairies.  Occasional Rapist was congratulated on her 169^th Surf City Hash!   Get a life!  Wicked Retahted, Twat Did You Say? and Fingernips were called up for being backsliders.  They all gave lame excuses.  Wicked Retahted had some toenail fungus going on, Twat Did You Say? was busy being a foster mom and Fingernips was busy traveling and fucking.  They tried to call up Virgin Eddie, but he had a paranoid freak out and ran away.  LOL.  I can’t remember that happening before.  The pack quickly forgot about him.  Best dressed went to Fucked Over Fest, Dung Fu Grip, Occasional Rapist, Fingernips, Ska Skank Redemption, Hugh Heifer and Courtesy Flush.  Ska Skank Redemption drank for being a visitor.  Fucked Over Fest, Occasional Rapist and Princess Di (arrhea) drank for using technology on trail.  They couldn’t help it.  The Giants game was on and it was the game they won to put them into the fucking World Series man!  Courtesy Flush was punished for stopping to get a burrito on trail.  Dog Breath, Thmp-Thmp, Ho to Housewife, Courtesy Flush and yours truly drank for being stupid enough to run up a big hill to a YBF.  And last but not least, the Hares………………………

On On,

Shallow Hole

Tunnels of Terror

I was looking forward to this week’s trail.  Puff the Magic Drag Queen and Dung Fu Grip told the pack we were starting trail at the Santa Cruz Mountain Brewery.  They have great beer and I love the West Side.  Then I saw this week’s trail announcement.  I thought to myself, “Oh fuck!  Where are those bastards taking us?”  We’ve hashed all over the West Side numerous times and I know that area really well.  They were supposedly taking us to less visited, seldom seen places that no one wants to visit.  This trail was supposed to separate “the REAL hashers, from the fair-weathered variety.”  I’m a real hasher.  I’ve been around the proverbial hashers block a few times.  Occasional Rapist and I were knee deep in mud in Savannah at America’s Interhash 2010.  Surf City has survived numerous dBASED trails.  He had us swimming in the mouth of the San Lorenzo River at the M-Word Run last year.  How bad could this trail be?  Despite the ominous warning, a large pack was brave enough to show up.  Ho to Housewife brought 3 Virgins!  I thought to myself, those poor suckers have no idea what they’re in for.  Glad most of the pack listened and brought flashlights.  Photos courtesy of Occasional Rapist, who served at stunt hash flasher since Puff was haring.

Trail was about 3 miles, but felt much longer due to the shigginess factor.  It started out the back of the bar.  After the first check near the railroad tracks was solved, the pack headed across Mission Street to Grandview.  I think most of us figured they would go into the shiggy.  There was flour leading up to Arroyo Seco Canyon.  But a confusing back check sent the pack on a wild goose chase.  After searching in every conceivable direction, someone finally found flour that went through a condo complex.  At the dead end, we were supposed to climb over a small fence, go down an embankment into a tunnel that went under Mission Street.  There was a bum wine check for “liquid courage” before the entrance of the tunnel.  Sorry Dung Fu, Jewish grape juice doesn’t qualify as liquid courage.  We needed some hard liquor, like Jamison or Jim beam for that!  There was a lot of litter in the tunnel suggesting that it was probably inhabited by homeless people.  Luckily no one was home at the time we passed through.  No water or rats either.  We thought the worst was behind us, but we were wrong!  It was pretty dark by this time.  Flour lead us down the Mission Street extension for a few blocks, but entered the woods again through somewhat of a path on the right.  I’m sure this path would be hard enough to traverse in the daylight.  In the pitch dark, it was quite challenging.  I don’t know what was worse.  Mounds of PO, getting scraped up by picker bushes, snagged on barbed wire or the second tunnel!  This one was longer and darker, but everyone passed through unscathed.  We climbed up a nasty ass hill to a field that lead us out on Mission Street by the cow pasture across the street from the Wilder bike path.  Several hashers got confused by arrows on the road that were part of the Santa Cruz Triathlon the weekend before.  Trail headed straight down Shaffer Road, went left on the railroad tracks and through another shiggy section of Antonelli Pond.  Once we got to Delaware Street, there was yet another shiggy section through Natural Bridges.  Not sure how, but everyone survived and made it to beer check down the road on Delaware Street.  The Hares probably feared lynching, so they put out a delicious spread of cheese, fruit, veggies and bread from Whole Foods.  Ho to Housewife’s Virgins all survived.  Just Luke seemed to enjoy himself.  dBASED found Virgins Kate and Jackson on trail and escorted them to beer check.  We probably won’t see them again.

Religion was in the parking lot near the start.  They put up a fence next to the railroad tracks, so we couldn’t have Religion in the usual spot.  Accuprick was RA and Cock Throbbin’ was Beer Fairy.  First down downs went to backsliders, Accuprick, Courtesy Flush, Slownad, and Princess Di(arrhea) was stunt drinker for her sister Cumcerto.  Cumcerto apparently went home because she got lost.  Virgins Kate, Luke and Jackson all told lame jokes.  Welcome to the hash!  We’ll see if they ever show up again.  Thmp-Thmp and Hugh Heifer drank for getting lost on trail.  They blamed dBASED for making them go the wrong way.  dBASED drank for being an asshole.  He dropped his phone in the bar and some girl thought she was being nice and picked it up and gave it back to him.  She called him and asshole for not saying thank you!  Where are your manners?  Courtesy Flush was rewarded for his chivalry on trail.  He waited for everyone at the fence to make sure everyone got down through the tunnel.  Dogbreath drank because he complained someone else drank from his dog bowl.  Grow up!  LOL.  Giant Asexual and Just Schuyler drank for playing silly games on trail.  Thmp-Thmp celebrated his 150^th Surf City Hash!  Get a life!  Get a life!  And last but not least, the Hares……………………..   

On On,

Shallow Hole