This weeks trail found us with CumFart Zone and her partner-in-slime, Jizziki, who readily admitted they pre-laid this trail. It started out of wine time and made its awful way from there.

It was so horrendous Vaginal Repair Kit refused to participate no matter WHAT CumFart Zone promised him in return. So, after pre-lay was completed, our horrible hare-pair decided more flour was in order so they push-started Jizziki’s sled and casually and haphazardly tossed flour willy-nilly from his car, all the while sipping on a beer. The only cop that spotted them decided he simply MUST be hallucinating and called his replacement in early so he could go to the doctor.

And by the time the hounds found this trail, well, this trail made my brain and stomach consider terminating diplomatic relations.

Religion was back at Cumfart’s complex and down downs went to the pool swimmers Pink Cherry Licker, Genital Tongs, Dog Breath, Courtesy Flush and Dung-Fu Grip. Six of Nine was punished for not placing so much as one lousy paw on trail this evening.  Analversaries: Thmp-Thmp has 250 hashes with us and CumFart Zone has reached the magic number of 69. If ONE hare drinks, they ALL drink, hence Jizziki’s attendance beside CumFart Zone. Then a down-down for co-hares Jizziki and CumFart Zone for laying NINE consecutive Beer Near marks before delivering on that promise, they were the worst!

On on,

Pussy Wood

Our hares for this hash were Occasional Rapist and dBased…and it showed.

We started at Sante Adarius and only Banana Basher found the turkey eagle split, which was apparently by the police station, so the whole pack basically ended up on eagle against their will. There was a mudslide LC and the trail was very long and pretty uneventful wandering in and out of neighborhoods and getting a bit lost out in Capitola with some pretty stops overlooking the ocean.

At religion everyone was hungry and pissy so it was quick and efficient. Dung Fu was our RA and he did a pretty good job getting through it. 6 of 9 showed up for Religion with some sketchy blue drank of his own. Dung-fu , achey and visitor moose knuckle got a down down for jumping in a pool on trail. PCL had a story but we told her to shut up because we wanted to get out of there and then ended up singing her a song and defeating the purpose of shutting her up in the first place! (A bunch of half minds for ya!)

There were lots of Analverseries to get through, Butt balls at 325, Vaginal Repair Kit at 25, Bareback Unicrack at 25, Rat Pussy&Deadliest at 75 and PCL for 25 consecutive. Our visitor Moose Knuckle from Taiwan then sang us a song and we were happy to sing our hares and be done with the whole ordeal so we could eat!

On on,

Pussy Wood

This last thursdays hash was just a circle jerk around town by our lazy hares New Kids on My Cock, HangsLoose and dBased. We started off at the Food Lounge where we were the only customers!

Trail was relatively straight forward from there around town until we found ourselves at the turkey eagle split where Turkeys found themselves at a rather far YBF. We could not recall the last check (we are still convinced it did not exist but New Kids claims it existed…lies!) I thought TIMMY was going to blow his lid he was so pissed at that. The Turkeys decision was to turn the fuck around and head over to Pono for a drink but miraculously we came upon trail coming down water street which led us right into the Rush Inn for beer check! We enjoyed a few pitchers there before making it over to religion on top of the cedar and locust street parking garage.

Rat Pussy stepped in as RA as it was a relatively small pack that night and we were lacking our usual RA’s and he chose Trans-Cunt-n-Anal as his beer fairy. The first tale from the trail which I rather enjoyed was Steamy Baaahnorhea’s discovery of a bag of shit on trail which he referred to as “salsa and tortilla chip” and Genital Tongs said the real liquor check was apparently hidden under the ass of a homeless lady – which Steamy confirmed was true with his “pornographic memory”.

dBased ended up getting a down down for that as he is apparently the one who placed the liquor check there for the homeless lady for “boofing” (look that up on urban dictionary). I am frankly rather glad I did not do Eagle, it seemed to be a shit show…literally. Genital Tongs also called herself out for blood on trail as she apparently started her period on trail. Turkeys did not even get a chance to find the liquor check because the trail was such a disaster! We were then able to move on to far more depressing affairs, like the fact that Puff hit 800 consecutive hashes, I mean shit! Get a life man!

We discussed some upcoming announcements, Fog City RDR happened on Saturday, PCL can no longer go on the Aids ride so feel free to go but the organizer has dropped out! We then sang happy birthday to our useless hares!

On-on

Pussy Wood

My first hash back after running around France and it sure was shitty!

Got things started off at Severino’s where the average age is 85 I would argue as I passed the lady with the eye patch and oxygen tank on the way to the bathroom. After taking the classyness of the joint down a couple notches we got things started. Our hares Accuprick, Little Anal Annie and Butt Balls were our hares. We went up to Soquel and crossed the road and got confused a bunch before finding trail leading us up to a trail into Nisene Marks.

We wandered around in the woods a bit but trail was short and sweet like this trash (my favorite) and we found beer check in a nice open area down below. PCL was running around marking people with chalky handprints and Dung fu was feeling cocky with his water gun. We left beer check and headed out and back in the direction of Severino’s to have Religion in the parking lot of the offices next door. Dung fu was our religious advisor and threatened people with his cock (scary stuff!). Vaginal Repair Kit was first up for blood on trail!

We had a couple of backsliders including myself (my bad). Broke Bench and Cumz out my Nose autohashed (lazy bastards!). There was an AWFUL singing of a new pirate song, the lyrics were wrong and it was bad, going to have to have a re-do on that and Courtesy Flush who printed them out was given a down down for the awful typos and trusting the internet. And of course, the hares got what they deserved! On on on was at Burger and things I am sure got out of hand there as well.

On on,

Pussy Wood